I Never Want to Hear...
Being a mother of twins has opened me up to a world of strained conversation with well-intentioned strangers and, often, the same questions over and over and over. There are some things I never get tired of hearing; for example, whenever someone introduces themselves and says that they also have twins, I always reply, "I've heard that it gets easier." I love the encouragement that unfailingly follows. However, not being a great conversationalist, and not being someone who particularly enjoys small talk, I do get frustrated from time to time. Here are six sentences that I wouldn't mind never hearing again:
"You've certainly got your hands full."
Easily the most-heard comment from strangers, it mostly just makes me feel like I look incompetent. Right? I know people are trying to be nice, but the implications are unflattering.
"So are you getting any sleep?"
Again, more than anything, this just makes me think I look tired. Of course I'm getting sleep, my babies are almost ten months old. Ask me again when I have two fourteen-month-olds and a newborn. And speaking of...
"It will be so much easier with just one."
Maybe with just one, but add in my other two (for a grand total of three babies), and I don't think it will come anywhere close to easy. When I was pregnant with Max and Maggie, this comment took the form of, "It's good you're having twins first because you won't know how much harder it is." Um, I can guess.
"Are they identical?"
I try to be nice when I get this question (which is surprisingly often). I try not to reply, "You know that's impossible, right?" Because just to clarify, identical means that they have the exact same genetic makeup, not just that they look alike (more on this in a moment). So boy/girl twins can't be identical. They're fraternal.
"They sure do look alike."
Well, not really. They're both white babies with blue eyes, but otherwise I think they look about as alike as Christian and I do. Honestly, it's like they have zero features in common. Maggie has my eyes, nose, cheeks and ears, but ginger hair (we're not sure where she got it) and Christian's mouth. Max has Christian's eyes, nose, cheeks and ears, my hair color and mouth, and mystery donor dimples.
I feel like someone might as well say, "He's breathing on me." Notify me when he spits up; I am uninterested until then.
Is there anything you've tired of hearing as a mother? Have you ever gotten any of these comments and questions? I'd love to hear your experiences!
*image by Stefany Alves