{ mary's last chance }

Lately, on Pinterest v.2

2012-01-26T07:29:00.002-05:00

Column 1: daddy & daughter photo* // washi tape // print // breakfast ideas
Column 2: pink palette* // cake // heart tights // pink lemonade popsicles
Column 3: room // robin sweater // flowers // diy heart garland
*I couldn't find original sources for these images, so if you know them, I'd appreciate it if you passed the information along. Thanks!

On Discovering Newbaby's Gender

2012-01-24T09:04:00.000-05:00

baby bump photos at 17 and 19 weeks
Spoiler alert: We're not finding out if newbaby is a boy or a girl. Or at least, we're not finding out until he or she is born. If you're impatient with this decision {as some have already claimed that they are}, you can place the blame squarely on my shoulders. I came up with the idea, and Christian agreed only reluctantly. In fact, Christian agreed partly because he didn't {and still doesn't} think I would last my entire pregnancy without caving.

But I'm not going to cave. I have my reasons for waiting. The first, the one I share with everyone, is that we don't need to find out this time. We already have a boy and a girl, so we're prepared for either.

The second reason is more personal. I've expressed before that I hope newbaby's birth is different in many ways from Max's and Maggie's. And I do hope. I have the dear, sweet dream that I'll have normal labor, and a normal delivery, and right after newbaby is born, Christian will get to tell me "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl!" and then I'll get to hold him and look at him and meet him {or her}. And I have faith that it's going to happen, this time.

Everything seemed so precarious with my first pregnancy. We had trouble getting pregnant, and then we had trouble staying pregnant. I remember going into the doctor's office at eight weeks, going into the emergency room at 11 weeks, calling the doctor panicked in the middle of the night at least twice, and then of course my hospital stay at 28 weeks, bed rest, and birth at 33 weeks.

I was worried the whole time that I wouldn't get the opportunity to know my babies. I wanted to so badly, and I sucked up every piece of available information about them, just in case I didn't have the chance later. I loved knowing that I had a boy and a girl inside me. I loved it when I discovered that Maggie got the hiccups often, almost every day. I loved being kicked hard from the inside and knowing who it was. I was desperate for knowledge about them. Every evidence of life and personality was incredibly important to me.

But I feel safer this time. I'm not worried. I'm {dare I say it?} confident that everything will be okay. That newbaby will be okay. That we'll get to keep him {or her}, that I can wait to learn everything there is to know about him. That there will be time later.

My third reason for waiting is the absurdly obstinate and inanely petty reason that Christian doesn't think I can. And so, I insist that I will.

baby bump photos at 20 and 23 weeks

A Morning in the Life {1.23.12}

2012-01-23T12:38:00.000-05:00

7:15 I wake up because my body won't sleep anymore, and because newbaby's presence in my belly necessitates using the bathroom. I put in my contacts, brush my hair, and put on a bra so I won't feel so schlumpy even if I stay in my pajamas all day. Then I head downstairs to say good morning to my little family.

7:20 It was Christian's morning to get up with the babies; they've all been awake since 5:45. Maggie is in the Jumperoo, and notices me right away. She bounces and smiles and makes happy sounds. She's so excited to see me, but then gets upset when a minute passes and I haven't picked her up yet. Max crawls over to me, climbs up my front for a hug, and immediately gets distracted and wants to be put back down. Christian finishes watching his episode of Boy Meets World, then goes upstairs to get ready for work. I stay and play with my babies.

8:00 Christian and I say family prayer together, then he kisses us all and walks out the door. Max crawls after him. He's sad when he realizes that his Daddy is gone. I decide it's a good time to eat breakfast. Babies eat oatmeal, fruit and yogurt, then Cheerios and bits of cheese and toast for finger foods. I have peanut butter toast, orange juice, and a prenatal vitamin.

8:30 I wash baby faces with a wet paper towel {Max especially hates this}, and then turn babies loose to play on the kitchen floor, tugging and chewing on their booster seat straps and chasing stray Cheerios. After a few minutes they get fussy. Max has crawled over and is sitting on top of his sister; he has also stolen her strap, and she's about to fall over. I carry Maggie back into the living room and Max follows us. I change diapers and turn on a DVR-ed episode of Oswald to carry us through until nap time.

8:35 Babies only stay interested in Oswald and Weenie through the opening sequence, then look for other forms of entertainment. At this point, actual baby toys are passed off as uninteresting. We try reading books and playing with Mommy's phone and banging on Mommy's laptop, but nothing is captivating for long.

8:55 Even though I usually try to make it until 9:00 or later for first naps, I decide that my babies are tired enough to justify a slightly earlier nap time. As I carry them upstairs, first Maggie, and then Max, I talk to them quietly. I remind them of all the fun things we did this morning, and what a good job they did at everything. I tell them they're tired now, and that I love them so much, and that they are wonderful babies -- the best babies in the whole world. I lay Maggie down and place her sleepfriend next to her, then cover them both with a blanket. Max chews on a corner of his blankie to soothe himself to sleep.

9:00 I have time to myself. Some mornings I take a shower, but my hair is looking clean enough today that I go straight to my computer. I check e-mail, Twitter, Pinterest, Google Reader, and then settle into blogging. I already have an idea in mind, so I type type type, then read and re-read and edit edit edit. My babies both make noise after they've been down for about an hour, but that's normal, and it's brief, and they both go back to sleep.

10:45 I can hear Max making awake sounds, so I know that my alone time, and the morning, are over.

*baby photo by loveliestdays

Important Thoughts 24.0

2012-01-20T13:49:00.001-05:00

24.1: Last night as Christian and I were getting ready for bed, we were talking about... something. Working? We were talking about something related to working. I don't remember all the details. {You like where this story is going, don't you?} I do remember it was something about working because I remember Christian saying through his dental floss, "You wish you could stop working." And I said through mine, "No, I don't. I just wish I had more energy." And it's true. The work I'm doing now is the work I've looked forward to accomplishing my entire life. I've always wanted to be a mother, and now I get to be -- that's awesome. Our conversation reminded me of this post, which I think is something every mother should read and think about {and laugh at -- if you read it and you don't laugh, I don't know if we can be friends anymore}.

24.2: I got my very first nasty anonymous comment on the blog last week, and it was not pleasant. {Don't go look for it -- it's not there anymore. I deleted that mess like I would step on a cockroach if I found one in my kitchen.} In a way I felt validated as a blogger, because all the big-time blogs get nasty anonymous comments, so maybe this was a sign that someone thought I was important enough to try to bring down. On the other hand, it just sucked. The worst part was that, since this person chose to attack me in a way that left them zero percent accountable for what they said, I had no way to respond. I couldn't say, "Hey! All those terrible things you're accusing me of? Stealing intellectual property, copyright infringement? Yeah, I didn't do that. And I can prove it!" Nope, I just have to let it go and move on.

24.3: It was amusing to hear a couple people mention in the comments section of this post that strangers often mistake their child's gender. We had to visit the pediatrician on Tuesday, and when our doctor walked into the room, he said, "And how are these two girls doing today?" Shock! Amazement! I was shocked and amazed! Max, besides looking like the most boyish boy that ever was a boy, was wearing a gray rocketship sleeper and clutching his blue blanket. Why, if I had two girls, would I dress one in a pink polka-dotted bumblebee sleeper, and the other in rocketships? This guy may have been smart enough to get through medical school, but was he ever dumb. {But really, he was a very competent doctor and other than thinking my bearsy boy was a girl, I actually liked him a lot.}

24.4: I think so many things my babies do are adorable, but the sweetest thing has to be giving hugs and kisses. I never want to forget these first demonstrations of affection. Max gives hugs by laying his head on my shoulder and putting his arms down by his sides. Also by crawling up to me and putting his head in my lap, or just gently butting his head into mine. Maggie likes to reach up with one hand around my neck and grab onto my shirt while wiggling her bottom. I can count the number of {very wet and sloppy, but no less dear} kisses that Max has given me on one hand; Maggie will give me a kiss almost every time I ask. She also gives kisses {hers are neater and quicker than her brother's} to toys, the mirror, and family members who have been very, very good. I kind of can't wait until they can speak the words "I love you."

*this post is part of a link up with E TELLS TALES

Lately, on Pinterest

2012-01-19T07:33:00.009-05:00

I'll be the first to admit, I have a healthy obsession with Pinterest. It qualifies as an obsession because I'm on Pinterest almost every day, pinning and re-pinning, and then opining on Twitter about how everyone else does Pinterest wrong. It's healthy because, let's face it, I don't let Pinterest affect my day-to-day life. I never make any recipes, or buy any products, or rearrange my furniture as the result of a pin. I do a lot of daydreaming, but I'm careful not to allow myself to go any further. I control the Pinterest, the Pinterest does not control me. {And I can quit whenever I want.}

Because of my deep and abiding {but also very normal and natural} love of Pinterest, I thought I would share some of my recent favorite pins. Enjoy! {And, if you want to re-pin, be sure to follow the links at the bottom of this post to find the original sources for these images.}

Clockwise, from top left:
velvet couch // chalk wall // photo display // anthro chair // bowtie bib // printable quote // lake photo // birdie pillow // stencil pillow diy // sweet apple triangles // moon print

Our Life in Pictures

2012-01-18T07:03:00.002-05:00

sitting up like a big girl // at Grammie & Grandpa's house // 20-week baby bump

happy girl // exploring // giving kisses

taking Grandma to lunch // with Maggie at the doctor // how we get around at Target

pretty shirt // holding hands on a walk // sad baby bear

exploring again // sleeping on the floor // saying hello

picking Daddy's nose // trying ice cream for the first time // post-ice-cream happiness

I Never Want to Hear...

2012-01-17T08:03:00.000-05:00

Being a mother of twins has opened me up to a world of strained conversation with well-intentioned strangers and, often, the same questions over and over and over. There are some things I never get tired of hearing; for example, whenever someone introduces themselves and says that they also have twins, I always reply, "I've heard that it gets easier." I love the encouragement that unfailingly follows. However, not being a great conversationalist, and not being someone who particularly enjoys small talk, I do get frustrated from time to time. Here are six sentences that I wouldn't mind never hearing again:

"You've certainly got your hands full."
Easily the most-heard comment from strangers, it mostly just makes me feel like I look incompetent. Right? I know people are trying to be nice, but the implications are unflattering.

"So are you getting any sleep?"
Again, more than anything, this just makes me think I look tired. Of course I'm getting sleep, my babies are almost ten months old. Ask me again when I have two fourteen-month-olds and a newborn. And speaking of...

"It will be so much easier with just one."
Maybe with just one, but add in my other two (for a grand total of three babies), and I don't think it will come anywhere close to easy. When I was pregnant with Max and Maggie, this comment took the form of, "It's good you're having twins first because you won't know how much harder it is." Um, I can guess.

"Are they identical?"
I try to be nice when I get this question (which is surprisingly often). I try not to reply, "You know that's impossible, right?" Because just to clarify, identical means that they have the exact same genetic makeup, not just that they look alike (more on this in a moment). So boy/girl twins can't be identical. They're fraternal.

"They sure do look alike."
Well, not really. They're both white babies with blue eyes, but otherwise I think they look about as alike as Christian and I do. Honestly, it's like they have zero features in common. Maggie has my eyes, nose, cheeks and ears, but ginger hair (we're not sure where she got it) and Christian's mouth. Max has Christian's eyes, nose, cheeks and ears, my hair color and mouth, and mystery donor dimples.

"He's drooling."
I feel like someone might as well say, "He's breathing on me." Notify me when he spits up; I am uninterested until then.

Is there anything you've tired of hearing as a mother? Have you ever gotten any of these comments and questions? I'd love to hear your experiences!

*image by Stefany Alves

Blog Redesign: Über Chic for Cheap

2012-01-12T07:30:00.003-05:00

I recently redesigned Über Chic for Cheap, a fashion and lifestyle blog written by my friend Madeline. Madeline and I met through our fashion blogs {back when I still had one}, and discovered we had a lot in common. I talked about her to Christian so much that eventually I stopped calling her "my Internet friend" and started just using her name. {True story.} Then in 2010 we met in real life. I think Madeline's first comment upon seeing me was, "Wow, you're tall." {In her defense, I was wearing heels.} We've been real-life friends ever since.

But back to her blog! Even though the design was a little more involved than I usually go {I created transparent buttons for her sidebar, a background for her navigation menu, and a layout I've never used before}, it was so much fun to do. The process was downright breezy. I think Madeline only requested one tiny change after seeing the sample I sent her, and that never happens. She was the absolute best to work with. Everything I suggested, she loved -- evidence that not only do we like all the same things, but that she has excellent taste.

Here's her before shot {circa May 2010 -- I was a bozo and completely blanked on taking a screenshot of her blog right before I installed the new design}:

And here's her after:

What do you think? Are you as in love with her new design as I am?

P.S. I've received communication about the similarity between Madeline's new design and the design of the blog Live and Enliven; I've been in contact with the support team of BlogMilk about this confusion and they have verified that Madeline's design is, indeed, my own.

Books I Read 2011

2012-01-11T10:01:00.003-05:00

-- For those unfamiliar with the Books I Read feature on my blog, a little explanation: at the end of every year, Christian likes to look back on his reading material and write a post sharing his thoughts {which do not necessarily amount to a review, per se}. I love having him contribute to the blog, and I hope you enjoy! --
In 2011, I had a goal to read four Russian novels that are well known. I read enough garbage that I felt I could spare a few months to read books that are supposed to be classics. Not just classics, but classics of the classics. After those four, I would then return to reading literary garbage. With the arrival of Maggie and Maxwell in March, my reading time took a serious hit, but I continued to pull books off the shelf. Here is what I read in 2011:

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – This is the first of the “Russian Four,” as they came to be known around the world (a.k.a. in my mind). Easily the shortest of the group, one thing is clear: Raskalnikov be crazy. He plots to commit the perfect murder and maybe would have gotten away with it, were it not for the fact that he goes first-rate nuts. Ohhhh, he was so close otherwise.

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoyevsky – I made my way through about 100 pages of this book six and a half years ago. This time I went the distance. (“Go the Distance,” says Shoeless Joe.) Murder, mystery, courtroom drama, religious debate -- this book has it all. Then again, at near 700 pages, this book is bound to cover a few subjects. The difference between now and six years ago: Twitter.

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy – About a week after I finished reading this book, I was watching an episode of Saved By the Bell. Lisa Turtle, while trying to impress Bryan Watkins (one of the many students to appear in only one episode and then never again), reveals the ending to this novel. I guess the ending is supposed to be famous or something, but I had never heard of it before. The lesson here: always finish your Russian novels before watching Saved By the Bell.

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy – We all know that the original title of this book was going to be War: What is it Good For?, but Tolstoy’s mistress had him change the name. This title suits the novel better. I guess. A million, billion pages long, this novel is pretty good until the end when Tolstoy starts talking about philosophy. Why do certain novels become the standards for classic works? I read it, and it was good, but why is this book considered one of the greatest of all time? I don’t know. I do know that I wouldn’t have read it if it had been just some novel. Don’t like it... go write your own 1200-page epic about the Napoleonic Wars. (Burn!)

The Gunslinger by Stephen King – Book One in Stephen King’s seven (or is it eight?) -part series The Dark Tower. I like Westerns, I am a sucker for the Old West. I want to grow up to be a Cowboy (sorry, Waylon). I guess you could say I am the Man with No Name of the Automation Engineering ilk. Too bad I can't find a cowboy hat that looks good on me. (What’s that? I didn’t mention anything about the book? Oh well.)

The Drawing of the Three by Stephen King – This is Book Two. Why did I keep reading this? Are these books really that popular? Sloooooowwwwww.

The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins – Yes, yes, yes, I know that everyone has read these. The first one is absolutely fantastic. The second, not so much. The third was atrocious. Having said that, the movie trailer looks ah-mazing. I explained the basic premise to several co-workers and every time they came away horrified; the premise is pretty grim.

The Millennium series by Stieg Larsson– I actually did not know a single fact about these books before I read them. I was in for quite a shock just a little way in to the first one. This girl, the one with the dragon tattoo who plays with fire and kicks the hornet’s nest, she will mess you up. Very entertaining and fast paced, I really enjoyed reading these. I thought this trilogy ran circles around the Hunger Games trilogy.

The Help by Kathryn Stockett – Powerful, powerful book. A lot of hype was built up around this book with everybody reading it and the movie coming out. Mary’s sister Alice lent Mary a copy, which sat on an end table for two weeks before I picked it up. It was solid from beginning to end. I can't speak enough about how much I enjoyed this book. It is hard to compare a book like this to the Russian classics that I read at the beginning of the year, but I do think that this book is as good as any that came out in the last few years.

Micro by Michael Crichton and Richard Preston – Michael Crichton will always have a special place in my heart. I read Sphere when I was ten, and it was the first non-children’s/young adult book that I ever read. Not long after that, I read Jurassic Park and I was hooked, line and sinker. Now, Crichton is dead. Micro was left partly finished when he died. Crichton’s publisher hired Richard Preston to finish the work based on Crichton’s notes and outlines. The book is basically Honey, I Shrunk the Kids except they are in Hawaii and Szalinski is trying to kill them. I will say that this book had one turn that really surprised me, which is something that a Crichton book hasn't done in a very, very long time.

Now it’s on to 2012. I have a few titles in mind (The Art of Fielding, Infinite Jest) and maybe I’ll finally get around to reading The Lord of the Rings trilogy -- that way Mary can finally stop complaining about how I have never read them.

Previous Books I Read posts: 2010 parts I, II, III, IV, V; 2009 parts I, II.
To read all of Christian's posts, click here.

*book photo by Johnna LaFaith

Resolutions

2012-01-10T11:27:00.000-05:00

When Christian and I discussed our family's goals for 2012, we decided on three. Three seems like a good number for us. Considering how we fall onto the couch after the babies are asleep in their beds and sigh our grateful sighs that the most stressful part of the day is over, three is enough to be thinking about.

For the first half{-ish} of the year, we want to work on welcoming a healthy and happy newbaby into our family. We know that we only have control over this to a certain extent, but it is our dear hope that newbaby will come into the world in an entirely unexceptional manner. No early labor, no extended hospital stay, no superfluous thumbs that need to be surgically removed later.

For the second half, we want to try very hard not to get pregnant again. A large family is our dream, but three children every fourteen months is kind of a break-neck pace, and not one we want to keep up. {Christian did the math. At this rate, it would only take us six years to have 15 kids. Yowza.} Let me emphasize, we are so incredibly grateful for the blessing of children in our lives. We just also want to partake of the glorious blessing of successful family planning.

Our third goal is to watch all 15 seasons {and 331 episodes} of ER.

*image from The Glow

Important Thoughts 23.0

2011-12-19T21:00:00.001-05:00

23.1: Max is a crazy boy. Now that he can crawl, he doesn't want to hold still for anything. Christian and I have several times given up mid-diaper change and just let him scoot around for a while with a naked bottom. Nap time is worse, when he wants to explore his crib and smash the bumper down so he can look around his room. {You might think that means he's not tired, but he def-def-definitely is; it's the saddest thing to watch him patting his crib slats and sobbing at the same time because he's completely exhausted and yet just won't lay down.}

23.2: I decree that Maggie is the princessiest of princess babies. She likes to be held so much that she only just learned to roll over onto her tummy. {Seriously, baby? You are nine months old tomorrow!} She also has a very clear ranking system when it comes to who she likes to hold her. Mommy, obviously, is tier #1. Daddy falls into tier #2, and other relatives she knows qualify for tier #3. People she doesn't know aren't permitted to touch her at all, or look at her for too long. Her I-want-Mommy-all-the-time attitude is both frustrating and a tiny bit endearing.

23.3: We're so looking forward to the babies' first Christmas. I bought them Christmas pajamas {which I plan to make a tradition in our family}, but really did my best not to go overboard with presents. Really really. We're going to wrap up some extra boxes to make under the tree look extra special, and because we think that unwrapping boxes might be the most exciting part of Christmas for nine-month-olds.

23.4: I decided this year to make matching stockings for our family, and I love how they turned out. Despite my personal feelings toward them, I was surprised the reaction they got when I posted a couple pictures of them on Instagram. Mostly because they were super duper easy to make. Here's how it went: I bought some felt stockings at Target for one dollar each. I printed out our names in a font I liked, then pinned it to the inside of the stocking. Since the tops of the stockings are white, I could easily see through to the paper. Then, I backstitched through the paper and fabric together with embroidery floss. When I was done, I tore the paper off {carefully}, and voila! Done. Not that I'm done with the stockings yet; I have a few more embellishments to add. Embellishments that Christian thinks make Maggie's stocking look like it's more for Valentine's Day than Christmas. But whatevs.

A Handmade Christmas, Part II

2011-11-30T13:28:00.001-05:00

As Part II of A Handmade Christmas, I've collected some great DIY Christmas tree ornaments. Use it as inspiration for your own tree, or consider giving some of these ornaments as gifts, or to use as gift tags and party favors. My mom has initiated a little bit of a tradition of giving the same ornaments to every member of her family, so that when we decorate our trees, we all have some decorations that are the same. It brings us together even when we celebrate Christmas apart, and I think it's wonderful. Feel free to steal this tradition and make it one of your own!

1. Snowy balloon ornaments. The sparkliness of these ornaments is not to be matched, I think. And so easy to make!
2. Pinecone elves. Aren't these the cutest? A tiny family of elves would add something special to any tree.
3. Porcelain ball ornament. I love how this ornament looks polished, and at the same time a little wonky.
4. Felt dala horse ornament. We had a wooden Dala horse at our house growing up, so this felt ornament fills me with nostalgia, in the best way.
5. Folded paper stars. For some reason Google didn't offer to translate this page for me, but I still think I'll give these a try. They're gorgeous!
6. Polymer clay birds. The author of this DIY decorated her clay birds with paint, but I love the look of them plain and white.
7. Map ornament. I love the idea of making an ornament using a map and giving to someone for whom that place has a special significance. So sweet and personal.
8. Matryoshka doll ornament. This is one of the most adorable embroidered felt ornaments I've seen yet! {And I feel like that's saying a lot -- embroidered felt is big right now.}
9. Glittered deer ornaments. This tutorial is for table decorations, but these glitter animals are too amazing to pass up! Use the instructions in this DIY to turn the animals into Christmas tree ornaments.

A Handmade Christmas, Part I

2011-11-29T08:53:00.000-05:00

Christian and I have been blessed to be part of two large families {and they're getting larger all the time; we're not the only ones having babies like crazy}, which is wonderful. It also means that every year before Christmas we have the "how much do we want to spend on everyone?" talk. Because if we didn't set a budget, I would buy everyone ridiculously expensive presents. I love buying presents.

One way to get around the restrictions of a budget {without actually breaking that budget}, is to make gifts. For Part I of A Handmade Christmas, and with the help of my buddy Pinterest, I've compiled a list of handmade gifts that I think kids would love to get on Christmas -- and maybe some adults, too? That whale is just amazing.

1. Whale doll; it's so cool that I wouldn't mind getting one myself. I love whales. {The site is in Finnish, but just translate it or follow the pictures.}
2. Rubber stamps made from carved erasers. Wouldn't it be awesome to make a set of these?
3. Popsicle memory game. They look especially sweet stored in a jar, don't you think?
4. Painted block puzzle. My hands have been itching to do this one ever since I saw the DIY back in May!
5. The Purl Frog -- little beanbag frogs that look both hilarious and adorable. I kind of want six or seven.
6. Paint with water pages. Remember doing these as a kid? What a genius idea to create your own!
7. Doorway puppet theater. And, of course, if you have an incredible puppet theater, you need some...
8. Amazing paper puppets; you can buy these in DIY kits. Aren't they gorgeous?
9. Pocket hearts. I love the idea of slipping these into the pocket of someone you love, but they would also make great Christmas tree ornaments.

Excitement

2011-11-28T07:57:00.002-05:00

When I first discovered that I was pregnant with newbaby, I wasn't excited. That's not to say that I wasn't happy, because I was. But excitement, the thrill that runs through your nerves and tingles in your fingers and feet like sparklers, I didn't have that. Excitement is the emotion you feel on Christmas Eve when your heart is bursting with joyous anticipation. When Christian and I were dating, and I knew I was about to see him again, I used to feel excitement so intense it was almost painful. My heart would race and I couldn't sit still and everything I saw seemed framed in golden confetti.

What I felt when I saw the two {two!} pink lines on my pregnancy test was much different. I felt calm, and a beautiful sense of peace. In our church, we associate that feeling with reassurance from the Holy Spirit, a confirmation that signals rightness and alignment with God's plan for us. It's the reason that I believe newbaby was meant to come to our family now, and not that Christian and I made a huge goofy mistake.

The thing is, after planning for and picturing newbaby, after imagining what our family will be like six months from now, I'm super excited. We didn't get to have a normal anything with Max and Maggie, and you know that perfect moment right after the baby is born and you get to hold him for the first time? I'm looking forward to that like crazy.

*motherhood photo by Oana Befort

Blogging Again & An Announcement

2011-11-24T07:42:00.001-05:00

So, remember last year, you guys? Last year on Thanksgiving I posted that I was pregnant. A day later I threw in the fact that we were expecting twins. And since I hadn't shared anything about how we had been trying to have a baby for two and a half years, I didn't include any of my "finally! Finally! I'm going to be a mommy!" feelings in that post. In fact, my blogging was incredibly nonchalant considering my emotional state.

This year, I have another little announcement to share. So much has changed in our lives, but you may be surprised to learn my news hasn't. Yup yup yup, I'm pregnant again.

A couple months ago I started getting carsick while sitting in the front passenger seat -- that was my first clue. Then I started counting backward, and realizing that something didn't happen when it should have. Because of all the times before my first pregnancy when I would say to Christian, "I think I'm pregnant!" and then it would turn out not to be the case, I didn't say anything to him. I just handed him a positive pregnancy test one Sunday morning.

{I was also carrying Max at the time, and considered handing the test to him to give to Christian, but then I thought about how everything that Max gets in his hands ends up in his mouth. And, you know, I peed on that test. So gross.}

We've already started getting a few questions about this pregnancy. Questions like, "Was this expected?" and "Are you guys excited?" and the always-hilarious "You guys know how that happens, right?" To possibly forestall any of those questions ending up in the comments section, let me answer them here.

Firstly, no, we weren't planning or expecting to get pregnant. Like I mentioned, it took two and half years the first time. {Also, rounds of injections, fertility drugs, and a minor surgical procedure. IVF is rough, y'all.} So we were prepared for the possibility that Max and Maggie would be our only two babies ever. We also hoped that I would be one of those women who has a much easier time after her first successful pregnancy. We didn't anticipate that it would be quite so easy.

Secondly, yes. We are grateful that I'm pregnant again, and are happily dreaming about and making plans for newbaby. We know that life isn't going to be easy with two fourteen-month-olds and a newborn, but we also want a big crazy family, and it's exciting to see how that's beginning to become a reality.

Thirdly, geez, could you BE any more condescending? No, but seriously, I've read my fair share of books on fertility, so duhdoy.

I'm going to try to do a better job of blogging during the next six months until newbaby comes {I'm due in May again, isn't that crazy?}, but I have to admit that not blogging for the past 84 days has freed up some time. Or maybe I'm finally getting the hang of mothering twins? I guess we'll see how everything plays out.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

*pregnancy photo by Kelly Hicks Design & Photography

Stop! Mary Time.

2011-09-01T08:23:00.021-04:00

How many hours do you get to yourself a day? Do you plan some "you" hours in?
Do you have any time to read/journal/craft/watch TV/etc? Or is it all about babies, babies, babies?
When Christian gets home to do you hand the babies off for some "me" time?

Oh gosh, you guys. I've been putting off answering this question for a few days, debating what to say. Part of me wants to just say how I feel right now, which is that I get no time to myself and I'm constantly overwhelmed with babies. The other part knows it wouldn't be fair to Christian or anyone else who helps me out. So I'll try to be honest.

-----
I don't plan any me-time during the day; I don't really try to plan anything during the day. The babies aren't on a daytime schedule, so they sleep when they want to sleep and eat when they want to eat. My day revolves around them. I sometimes wake up and think, "It would be nice if I had time to do laundry today," and then when I have a free moment I'll try to fit it in. I do my best to be flexible, because if I plan on something like free time or accomplishing a chore, and it doesn't happen, I get incredibly frustrated.

The idea of "hours" to myself made me laugh; on a good day I'll get a total of two hours of baby-free time between 7:30 and 5:30 {when Christian's at work}. On bad days, when one baby wakes up just as the other goes down for a nap, I get zero hours. Zero minutes. As the babies have gotten older, and as I've learned to make better use of my time, I've been able to do certain necessary tasks {eating, getting dressed, making bottles} while they're awake. So I can survive the bad days, even if I'm exhausted at the end of them.

-----
I sometimes read, although I usually save that for when Christian gets home and the babies are in bed, so I can enjoy it more. I've stopped writing in my journal {my last entry was supposed to be my birth story, but I never finished}, and I was never much of a crafter. I usually keep the TV off during the day, for the babes and myself, but when I have free time in the evening I often watch.

-----
I used to feel entitled to handing off, not both babies to Christian when he got home, but the responsibility of being in charge. I didn't feel like I could expect him to do everything, but for some reason the idea of having someone tell me what to do instead of just having to do it sounded relatively relaxing. However, it wasn't fair of me to put such a large burden on him. Now we try to share the load.

If I desperately need a nap, he's good at taking over so I have the opportunity. If I have to get out of the house, he's good at making that happen, too -- I usually end up running errands to the grocery store, the library or Target that can't wait until the weekend.

My life has changed a lot since I wrote this post. I still feel overwhelmed at times, but I get through it. I love my babies, and every night I pray that I will find joy in raising them. And I do, constantly.

Conversations About Captain

2011-08-31T09:54:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to add this little tidbit to last week's post about how we came up with Max' first name.

Before we brought the babies home from the hospital, I had to call and make an appointment with their pediatrician for a follow-up appointment. I explained to the scheduler about our situation, that the babies had been in the hospital but were coming home now. She then started asking me their basic info {names, birthdates, etc.} so she could put them in the computer. Maggie's information we got through no problem, but afterwards we had this conversation:

"And the other baby's first name?"
"His first name?"
"Yes, his first name."
"Captain."
"I'm sorry?"
"It's Captain?"
"Can you spell that for me?"
"C-A-P-T-A-I-N."
"...Male?"
"Yes."

We now get those lovely automated messages from our pediatrician's office, reminding us of our appointment times -- the ones where one robot voice says most of the message, but a second robot voice jumps in for the names, dates, and times. Ours sound like this:

"This is a message reminding you that... a member of your family... and... Maggie... have an appointment for Thursday, August 21st at 1:00 pm. If you have any questions, please call..."

Because if people are confused about my son's name, you better believe robots are.

Captain Maxwell Plautz

2011-08-22T21:52:00.000-04:00

How DID Max's first name come about? I'm pretty certain it was Christian's doing
but am curious about the whole story.

When Christian and I decided that our first son's first name would be Captain, we had an idea of the reactions we were going to receive. We knew a lot of people would think it was strange. Even worse, we knew the puns would start and probably cease only after a very long time. But I'm starting in the middle; I should start at the beginning.

The beginning is sometime during the summer of 1996, when my mother-in-law was extremely pregnant with Christian's youngest brother, Alex. {It might have started even earlier than that, with the creation of my father-in-law's brain, but for the purposes of this story I'm starting in '96.} Christian's parents knew they were going to call their sixth son Alex, but they also knew it was going to be his middle name.

They needed a first name; one that sounded good with Alexander. During the ongoing discussion my father-in-law suggested Captain, but this idea was immediately rejected by my mother-in-law. My mother-in-law has very strong ideas about what makes a good name, and Captain does not fit her requirements. They settled instead on Benjamin.

-----
Fast forward twelve years. Christian and I were engaged in early 2008, and one of my favorite conversation topics was baby names. I remember that pretty early on we decided that none of our children would have names that started with P, because that would be like the cheesiest thing ever. However, the exact series of events -- when we realized we both loved the name Max, when we decided to give our first boy Christian's same initials, or when he told me his father's unorthodox suggestion for Alex -- it's all mixed up in my head.

I do remember that after Christian related the story about his dad and Captain, I said, "That is an awesome name." And he looked at me and said, "Are you serious? Because if you're serious, that would be really cool."

The problem with picking out your children's names more than three years in advance {a few months into our marriage we had chosen ten, in total} is that family members have more than three years to make fun of them before anything is actually set in stone. In our case, our family members had three years to doubt that we'd follow through. "Are you really going to name your son Captain?" was a frequent question. My sister even said, "If you name your son Captain, then your kids can't play with my kids." But we had our minds made up, and endless iterations of "Aye aye, Captain" weren't going to stop us.

Honestly, I hardly ever think about the fact that my son's name is Captain. {I think about it a lot less than I ever thought about Maggie's extra thumb.} We call him Max or Maxwell 90 percent of the time. The other ten percent Christian calls him Buddy, and I call him my Maxi-Bear.

Wherps!

2011-08-19T14:10:00.002-04:00

{Zinnias from my walk with the babes today.}

So this is a post about what a big clueless dork I am.

As you may recall, I wrote a post asking for questions over a month ago. I made the comments on that post private, because other people did and it made sense {for reasons explained in the previously referenced post}. Since I have Blogger send me e-mails whenever someone comments on ye olde blog, I waited for the questions to pour into my inbox. None came, and none came, and none came, and I felt a little forlorn. No questions, not even out of courtesy or friendship or pity?

But no, not one. I contemplated whether I should call myself out for being pretentious enough to assume that people wonder anything about my life, or whether I should bluff it and answer pretend-asked questions {pathetic, I know}. Finally, last night as I was blogging because I just couldn't hold back the words that were in me, I had almost decided to pretend like the whole FAQ post hadn't happened at all. And then I saw it -- I had unmoderated comments waiting for my approval. I had gotten questions, and, dense as I occasionally prove myself to be, hadn't realized.

I apologize. I'm now getting my answers to your questions ready, and I'll start posting them next week. First up: the story behind Max's first name.

P.S. You better believe Christian made fun of me last night. "You clown," I believe, were his exact words. Christian also makes fun of me whenever I say "wherps," a deliberate mispronunciation of "whoops."

UPDATE: Christian wanted me to clarify that he's the one who came up with "wherps" -- it's not funny to make fun of the way someone pronounces something, but it is funny to make fun of someone who pronounces something the same way you pronounce it and act like they're crazy for doing so. When I say "wherps!" Christian is always quick to reply, "No. Nobody says that."

The Story of Our Yesterday

2011-08-18T22:38:00.000-04:00

Prologue

My Maggiebaby was born with an extra thumb. Christian told me, after he had been to see our newly born babies and as I was being stitched up post-delivery, that our girl had a tiny extra digit. I thought he was kidding, but he told me that he "was strictly instructed not to make any jokes at this point," which was good advice.

It was never a big deal to us, this extra thumb -- we claimed our right as new parents to call our daughter perfect regardless, and meant that description with all our hearts. Since then I've smiled to myself whenever I hear soon-to-be mothers and fathers wish for ten fingers and ten toes. Um, how about eleven fingers?

Chapter 1

Christian and I put off having this little thumb dealt with. At first, perhaps, because she was such a tiny baby and we couldn't bear the thought of her going through surgery. After that point I blame exhaustion, and the fact that it was such a nothing issue for us. We made a few "what has three thumbs?" jokes, and planned to show what would be embarrassing pictures to her future boyfriends, but otherwise almost never thought of it. Eventually, though, we made an appointment to see a pediatric orthopedist, and then scheduled surgery to have that eleventh finger removed.

It was at this point I began to worry. My Maggiebaby under general anesthesia? My Maggiebaby not allowed to eat anything after midnight? I prayed to allay my fears, and did my best to have faith.

Chapter 2

The night before her surgery, we kept Maggie up extra late in the hope that she would sleep longer. In the early morning I listened closely for her sleepy voice, and ran in to give her a pacifier every time she stirred. At 8:00, however, she was definitely awake, and we still had an hour before we even needed to leave for the hospital. When she realized I wasn't going to feed her, I found it necessary to employ techniques I had learned from mothers with colicky babies, and we vacuumed the living room for 45 minutes. She did a good job in her car seat, and waited patiently while I checked us in and gave out our insurance information. At 10:30 they took us back to the waiting area where I changed her into the smallest hospital gown ever made. I prepared myself to keep her happy for another hour and a half until she was scheduled to go back for surgery.

Chapter 3

My Maggiebaby, who before yesterday I might have described as "a little fussy at times," has proved herself to be a champion among babies. The sweetest, the best-natured, the absolutely most patient baby. Maggie was not taken into surgery at 12:15. Maggie was taken into surgery at 3:00. Our doctor was delayed by an operation that took much longer than expected. And my darling girl, my adorable firstborn child, who usually waits no more than five hours between feedings, was miraculously content with her pacifier while we waited. She dozed for long periods of time on her pathetically small gurney, occasionally waking and wanting to be held, or to watch TV.

At one point, when my patience was wearing thin and she let out a weak little cry, I began sobbing to a sympathetic nurse about how she hadn't eaten for fifteen hours, and should we just give up and go home already? I'm not ashamed to admit, I think my baby is a better person than I am. She is amazing to me.

Chapter 4

The surgery, once begun, only lasted 15 minutes. She didn't even need an IV, and thank goodness -- I've had enough of baby IVs. I was told it was a simple procedure that went well. She has one stitch, which is dissolvable and should fall out on its own. The bandage on her hand, the doctor told me, could be taken off at home if we felt it was too tight. We could give her baby Tylenol if we thought she was in pain.

When I was allowed to go back to Recovery, she was in the arms of a comfortingly mothering nurse, sucking down her second bottle of Pedialyte. When I held her, she let me know just what she thought of the events of the day. All of the frustration and rage she had been holding back were now vented on me. She yelled until she suddenly fell asleep on my shoulder. I quietly packed us up, and as we were driving off the hospital campus, I cried again and said prayers of gratitude that the whole ordeal was over.

Epilogue

Maggie is doing well. She's been a little more sleepy than usual, I think is the biggest difference. Her hand seems a little sensitive when we pull it through the sleeves of her clothing, but she doesn't mind gnawing on the bandage when the urge to suck her thumb strikes. And now, ten fingers and ten toes -- that's what's important, right guys?

I'll Take Your Questions Now

2011-07-18T11:14:00.002-04:00

I haven't posted in a month. Exactly, it's been one month since I last posted, and that is pathetic. One reason I've been a little slack is that I've been working on a new blog design for myself, which takes up all my blog-attention. Another reason is that if I ever sit down at the computer with the intention to blog, all that fills my mind are thoughts like "I should get the laundry started" {which, actually, I need to do today} and "I wish we had some doughnuts." I thought it might be helpful to me if you all let me know what you're interested in hearing about, and I could have a topic to focus my usually distracted brain on.

So, do you have any questions for me? Do you wonder how I make it through the day, what happens when both babies are hungry at once, or how we came up with Max's first name? Or maybe you have a question on a different topic -- my life with Christian, my religion, if I'll ever start up my Wishlist blog again. Ask away! I'll put together my answers, include some adorable pictures of the babes, and post them over the next few weeks.

P.S. I've made the comments private, so no one need feel embarrassed about asking me a question. Additionally, this means that if I get a humiliatingly small number of questions, I can supplement them without anyone knowing.

Testing Out Our New Camera

2011-06-18T13:31:00.001-04:00

At my suggestion {read: insistence}, our family purchased its first camcorder earlier this week. I was worried that too many memories would pass by unrecorded, and that I would forget so much of my tiny babies' existence. I already regret not owning proof of Maggie's constant grunting, which she grew out of a couple weeks after coming home from the hospital, and which earned her the nickname "grumble monster."

As you can tell from the following video, I'm not really sure what I'm doing this first go-round, but on the other hand, there are some pretty cute shots of Maggie. {Maggie is my daughter, and I love her so much that I just want to carry her around in my pocket all day long.} Enjoy!

Picture Overload

2011-06-17T08:42:00.000-04:00

{feeding Max, Max in an outfit that was so hard to get on him he only wore it once, Max's diaper change,Christian and Daniel, Maggie's diaper change, Dad Plautz with Maggie, Max fuss-smiling, Christian and his Colts hat, Maggie's closeup}

{my view on our way to Morehead, Max being a good boy in his carseat, Maggie sleeping peacefully in hers, a self-portrait, Max staring at his Grandpa Plautz, Erik Lewis with baby Clarkie, Christian taking a nap, cutie-patootie Amelia, Daniel and Eric}

We Are a Happy Family

2011-06-04T13:12:00.003-04:00

Christian and I are on our way down to Morehead City right now {I'm writing this post courtesy of Catherine's iPhone. Boy, does this keyboard take some getting use to}. Just three days after the twins were born, my SIL Elizabeth had her third baby. And while I delivered seven weeks early, Clark came right on time. Consequently, he's younger, but weighed a pound and a half heavier than both my babes combined at birth. I think Christian and I joked about little Clarkie being a tank a couple times too often for Elizabeth's comfort. {It was only because we were jealous of his chubbiness, LB.}

The purpose of our trip today is so we can be at Clark's blessing tomorrow. We would have gone in the morning, but 9:00 am church means we would have had to leave way early in the morning. We've never traveled more than 45 minutes in the car at one time before, so this is an adventure. Being together with family makes it worth it, even if this trip ends up being a screaming baby nightmare. Two hours down, and they've been sleeping peacefully so far. Cross your fingers the remaining hour goes by as easily and quietly for us!

Someday

2011-05-31T11:43:00.004-04:00

Goodness. I keep meaning to post more often, and I keep getting sidetracked by other activities. Mainly things like feeding babies, feeding myself, and squeezing in my bi-weekly shower. There are even days when I think to myself, "I'm going to tweet today," and I can't even get that done. True story. {Although honestly, spending a fair amount of time on Pinterest takes precedence over Twitter every time.}

I have so many things I want to do every day. I want to clean my house. I want to plan the family get-together we'll have after the babies' blessing. I want to plant the flowers that have been sitting on my patio for two weeks, and I want to hang the artwork that has been leaning against the nursery dresser for just as long.

I didn't realize a lot of things before the babies were born, but I think mostly the thing that I didn't realize was how little time I would have left for myself. I crave time. I'm hungry for a few peaceful seconds to myself.

At this point, I'm going to make myself feel guilty if I don't add the caveat "I love my babies." I start many frustration-venting conversations with the phrase "I love my babies, but..." And I do love my babies. I love my babies so much, sometimes I think my heart will break. I love my babies so much, I just sit and rock them when I should be eating breakfast. My babies are wonderful and adorable, and with them in my life I feel more confident, strong, and more myself than I ever have before.

BUT I didn't realize how hard raising twins would be.

I keep reassuring myself with the words of other mothers, who have told me that the first year is the hardest. I tell myself, "this is just a phase. Enjoy your tiny babies now, and don't worry about everything else -- it will keep." And someday I will have time to myself again. Someday I will do more than just survive.

Two Whole Months

2011-05-23T01:30:00.000-04:00

The double yawns in this picture kill me.

Family Picture

2011-05-19T14:23:00.003-04:00

See my adorable eight-week-old babies? My SIL Catherine was kind enough to take a family picture before church on Sunday. {And I'm only now just getting around to posting.} Eight weeks before Sunday I became a mother. Eight days before Sunday I hit my due date. Can you imagine me pregnant with almost 14 pounds worth of baby? Holy cannoli, I would have been massive.

I'd like to make this post longer, but Max is calling.

One Month Pictures

2011-05-04T17:07:00.005-04:00

For those of you keeping track, the babies actually hit their one-month mark on April 20th. I'm a little late with these pictures. And if you can do date math in your head {I couldn't, and had to pull out my trusty calendar to count the days}, you'll realize that "a little" means two weeks. I'm hoping that at this point, in whatever way I fall short in my life, and however short I fall, people will forgive me and chalk it up to the fact that I have twins and spend most of my energy keeping them alive.

Ever since I saw this idea on Pinterest, I wanted to try to copy it. I only have my point-and-shoot camera, I made letters that were way too big, and holy cannoli is it hard to get them both clean and awake and quiet at the same time, but I'm reasonably pleased with how this picture turned out. As a quick reminder, that's Maggie on the left, and Max on the right.

Christian's been teasing me lately that I've become a mommy blogger, and I guess it's true: my last six posts have been about the babies. It's hard not to talk about them when my world revolves around them right now. Besides, they're just so adorable with their round toes and neck rolls and pudgy thighs, it's hard to imagine that anyone would want to hear about anything else. {I might be a little biased about the perfection of my offspring}.

April Is the Best Month

2011-04-21T20:30:00.001-04:00

Happy One-Month Birthday, babies! I don't have a lot to say about this month being the most rewarding and challenging of my life {though it has been} -- my brain is still catching up with the fact that I'm the mother of two children. When did that happen? For that matter, when did I get pregnant? After I got married, you say? I'm still not entirely sure I even got married, or started dating Christian. Christian? Christian who? You mean the guy who walks around looking like he's angry all time?

Basically, everything after 18 seems like a dream. My head can't quite believe the wonderful life I've been given. I'm operating as if everything around me is real because I think it's wisest for now; I have yet to be convinced I'm not just going to wake up halfway through high school Physics, wondering what the heck we're supposed to be learning about.

For the record, I love my babies like crazy. I tell them all the time that being in a family together is my most favorite thing in the world. It's so much my favorite, I almost forgot that my birthday is next week. My birthday was my old favorite thing.

Thoughts at Four Weeks Old

2011-04-17T14:30:00.001-04:00

{Christian wanted me to make it clear that he was burping the babies in these pictures,
not choking them. Christian has proven to have excellent baby burping skills.}

If, four weeks ago, you told me that my babies would eventually be four weeks old, I don't think I would have believed you. While, looking back, those weeks seem to have gone by so quickly, another four weeks seems impossibly far away. I know I'm not the first person to have noticed this, but time is weird.

I have a love/hate relationship with how much the babies are growing. I love that they're healthy and getting stronger all the time, but I already miss how tiny they used to be. Max doesn't even fit into his preemie sleepers anymore. {The first time I put him into a newborn size, I imagined him saying "I'm a real boy!" just like Pinocchio.}

Our twins seem totally devoid of any psychic twin powers. They act indifferent to each other's cries, and oblivious to each other's existence in general. Mostly it's just like we got two kids at the same time. They are both very tricky, though. Often we'll hear them fussing and go in to check on them, only to find them fast asleep. Five minutes later, more fussing, we go up to check, fast asleep.

We've started reading books to the babies. They already have their favorite stories. Maggie loves "Guess How Much I Love You" and "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" {I think it's because she's also tiny and very hungry, and shaped not unlike a caterpillar still}. Max enjoys "Where The Wild Things Are" -- even though he thinks the Wild Things are a little bit scary, he likes how the boy in the book is named Max too.

Maggie has a tendency to go {you know, go} when her diaper comes off. If she goes number ones we call it a Maggie Special. Sometimes she goes numbers twos, and we call it a Maggie Super Special. The other day Alice got a Maggie Super Special all over her pants and on her foot. Kate and I thought it was hilarious. At least she can't say I didn't warn her -- I warn everyone who changes Maggie's diaper.

I Can't Believe It's Been One Week

2011-04-08T21:26:00.002-04:00

Somehow it's been almost one whole week since we brought the babies home. Honestly, it feels like much longer. Our lives have changed so much, it's crazy to think about. While we love our babies more than we could ever have imagined, we didn't realize how exhausting it would be to take care of them. We're so grateful for everyone around us -- friends and family -- who have made this week in any way easier.

P.S. We went to the doctor today and both Max and Maggie have gained a pound since they were born -- can't you tell? I have a hard time keeping myself from eating their cheeks.

Why I Haven't Posted Thousands of Baby Pictures

2011-04-07T18:36:00.000-04:00

I know I haven't posted in a while. Part of that is just the normal, I'm-a-new-mom busyness -- I don't have time most days to take a shower, so there's no way I have enough time to write a blog post. I've been walking around for the past two days in Christian's shirts and maternity leggings {which are the most comfortable things ever; seriously, it feels like I'm not wearing anything at all}, thinking that everyone around me smells like overcooked broccoli, until I realized that probably it was me who was stinky. Gross.

Another reason I haven't posted is that before Saturday, my babies were still in the hospital. Because they were born so early, they needed a little bit of help before they were ready to come home. For some reason, their hospital stay ignited this strong maternal instinct in me, and I didn't want to post pictures of them in isolettes, with their monitor cords and IVs trailing from their tiny little fragile bodies. I was so proud of them and how hard they were trying, and all of the progress they were making. I didn't want people to see their pictures and pity them, instead of seeing how amazing they are.

I know it might have been silly or misguided, but I really couldn't stand the thought of posting a lot of hospital pictures. Please forgive me. I'll work on doing better at taking pictures of their ever-fattening cheeks. Deal?

My Sleepy Baby-Faced Babies

2011-03-28T16:41:00.000-04:00

A Happy Announcement

2011-03-25T16:15:00.000-04:00

These pictures were taken about two minutes after Max's birth, which was about eleven minutes after my life changed in the most amazing, miraculous way. Christian and I couldn't be any happier to be parents; our babies are perfect. I kind of thought it would never happen, like the human beings people kept telling me were in my belly actually only existed in my imagination. After a few days of seeing their tiny faces, getting to smell their wonderful downy little heads, and feeling their fingers wrap around mine, it's starting to sink in. I love them so much I can hardly stand it.

P.S. We call the boy-face child "Max."

A Video about My Hair

2011-03-10T10:35:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I got my hair cut on Tuesday. I've been growing it out for the past year and half for Locks of Love, and to honor my amazing mother-in-law, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in September of 2009. I figured if she could go through chemo, surgery, radiation therapy, and having no hair at all, I could grow my hair out. And I did it! Despite the worthy cause, I'm afraid I got a little whiny about my hair toward the end. I was just so ready for it to be gone.

I was nervous when my stylist went to cut off my ponytail, said it was too thick to cut with scissors, and got the clippers out. I've never had my hair cut with clippers before; I was afraid I was going to end up with a shaved neck. In the end, though, I really love how it turned out! It's just exactly what I wanted! {Which, coincidentally, is exactly what I wanted two years ago after watching the Oscars, but didn't really get.} I've been picturing myself at my baby shower with this haircut, so I'm glad my dreams have been realized.

But enough text. I know what everyone really wants is a picture. I have something better: a video. {And please, if you feel, as I do, that my face has gotten a little rounder in the past few months, please don't say anything, okay?} Enjoy!

P.S. I made this video yesterday, which is why I say that I got my hair cut "yesterday" in it. Capisce?

This Is My Life Right Now

2011-03-09T16:28:00.000-05:00

I've been talking to a lot of people recently about being on bed rest. People are interested in hearing about bed rest, and I'm interested in interacting with real-life humans, or basically something other than my laptop. {Even though I love my laptop -- it's a huge lifesaver. And not like a huge candy Life Saver, although that sounds kind of good right now.} So I thought I'd try to explain what life is like for me, 32 weeks pregnant with twins and on modified bed rest.

Point 1: I don't sleep well at night. I get up between six and ten times every night to use the bathroom -- remember how the nurses in the hospital told me to keep hydrated, but also empty my bladder right away? At least it's easier than trying to sleep through contractions. Add in the fact that I'm generally uncomfortable, meaning that I switch my sleeping position a lot. This constant up-and-down-and-roll-over routine isn't very much fun, but it is {I rationalize} readying me for nights with new babies. I'm also grateful that I get to sleep in my own bed, next to my very own husband.

Point 2: Bed rest can be boring and frustrating. People say, "Do you watch a lot of TV? That sounds like fun. I wish I could watch TV all day." While watching TV might indeed be fun for a whole day if you were on vacation, it's not enjoyable as a lifestyle. I try to instead spend my time on activities that are more productive -- crafts I can do from the couch, correspondence, working with blog designs, reading, and cultivating my taste on Pinterest {my new favorite site}. I make to-do lists of things that need to be completed before the babies come, and figure out who could help me with each task. The more active my mind, the fewer emotional breakdowns I experience. I try to remember that if I'm not getting anything else done, at least I'm always gestating, which is the most important thing I can do.

Point 3: I like to get out more than ever. I think you'll understand that staring at the same four walls all day can start to feel a little stale, and I enjoy getting out of the house when I can. My sweet mother-in-law took me to get my hair cut yesterday and then out to lunch, and {even though it turns out I locked myself out of the house in the process} it absolutely made my day. Christian has been very considerate about staying extra-late at family dinner, which we now attend every week, because I want to be around people; I'm trying to convince him to drive me to a friend's house 40 minutes west of Raleigh so I can attend our monthly game night.

Point 4: People are awesome. Christian and I are surrounded by wonderful friends, family, and members of our ward who have been just so kind and supportive. We have dinner brought over at least twice a week, we have family members who regularly come over to visit with me and make sure I'm not going crazy, and friends who offer their help in whatever way is needed. My dad didn't mind the other day when I called to ask a question and ended up keeping him on the phone for 15 extra minutes, because I needed to talk to someone.

I only have a few more weeks to go, and I'm doing it for two of my very most favorite people in the world. Really, it hasn't been so bad, especially when this is my view:

Book of Mormon Goals & Neon Crayons

2011-03-04T22:04:00.000-05:00

Christian is doing an excellent job helping me reach our New Year's goal of reading the entire Book of Mormon again before the babies come. He created and printed out a calendar to track how many pages we should have read by the end of each day, and is even letting me color in the days with crayons. You can't tell from the pictures I took {I went more for interesting than informative}, but we haven't missed a day so far!

There's a good chance the babies will end up coming before our scheduled finish, which is set for April 15th. I told Christian he could read me the last chapters as I'm in labor in the hospital, but I think we all know that I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to labor. I might end up throwing things at him if he tries to read to me. And really, as long as we do our best, I'm going to consider this endeavor a success. {Mostly to the credit of my awes-credible husband. I don't brag on him often, but I wanted to take this opportunity.}

One final thing I've realized while coloring in the calendar: I seriously hate neon crayons. I try to pick out the colors I use randomly, while still not using the same ones too often, but I feel like 50 percent of the time I come up with a neon color. And I hate neon crayons. They don't look nice with other crayon colors. Mostly they don't look nice at all. Why does Crayola even make them? I think next time I go to color in a few calendar squares, I'm going to pick out all of our neon crayons and throw them away. And then I'll bias our children against neon crayons.

Christian Took This Picture Yesterday

2011-02-20T13:00:00.000-05:00

And I like it. I wanted at least one good picture of me while I'm super-pregnant, and this is exactly what I had in mind. I didn't want to pay a photographer, I didn't want hearts over my stomach, or anything baby-themed. Just me sitting and looking happily pregnant -- I think Christian did a great job. He's pretty good at getting me to smile.

Some Serious Stuff

2011-02-18T12:23:00.001-05:00

This is my serious story about the past few days, if you'd like to know what's been going on with me, and why I keep talking about bed rest on my Twitter account. Since this post covers a few days, it's pretty long -- just be aware.

On Monday I was going about my usual day, being pregnant and working on my little blog design business and trying not to call Christian too often. I had in my mind that I would stay pregnant for about another nine weeks, and I was excited that we were in the single digits of weeks left.

Then something happened. I'm not going to say exactly what it was, because there are certain things I don't feel the need to publish on the Internet {like images of my uterus or pictures of my naked pregnant belly}. If you're curious, feel free to send me an e-mail; I don't mind telling people, but I do like to maintain some semblance of privacy. So this thing happened, and I felt like it was something that I should maybe be concerned about, so I called Alice to ask her what I should do. I often call Alice when I feel like I need to talk to someone right away; she's good about picking up the phone. Alice told me to call my doctor. The doctor said to come in so they could check me out and make sure everything was okay.

I had a small panic attack while I was getting ready to go to the doctor -- one of several I would have over the course of the next few days.

Once I got to the doctor's office, around 2:30 in the afternoon, we did an ultrasound and a quick exam. The babies were both fine, with healthy heartbeats, but I was dilated a centimeter. My doctor wanted to be sure I wasn't having contractions, so she sent me over to Rex Hospital. I called Christian and let him know what was going on, then went up and got settled into my room. I had another small panic attack when I saw that I was in a room that also contained one of those hospital baby beds. I really didn't want anything to do with that bed for several weeks. Christian arrived shortly afterward, which helped calm me down.

I was hooked up to monitors, which kept the nurses informed that the babies were still healthy, but also told them I was having contractions that I couldn't feel. Having contractions when you're only 28 weeks along isn't a good thing, and I got a shot to stop the contractions. I got another shot of steroids to help the babies' lungs develop {just in case}, and then I was moved to another room, where it was assumed that Christian and I would pass the night. We ate dinner, we watched some TV, we went to sleep.

I woke up in the night, around 12:30, because I was feeling something I thought might be more contractions. I called the nurses and they hooked me back up to the monitor. Sure enough, I was having contractions that I could feel this time, and they were starting to get painful. I was moved to another room, and put on an IV of magnesium sulfate. The doctor was concerned that my contractions weren't stopping, so she made arrangements to have me transferred to UNC, which has a good NICU {just in case}.

I had another panic attack as I was being loaded into the ambulance and we drove away from Rex. It didn't help that Christian was supposed to be following us and I couldn't see his headlights.

I arrived safely at UNC early Tuesday morning, around 4:30. It was a little funny to Christian and I {just a little, though -- enough to make us smile at each other}, because just a couple days before we had joked about how we would feel if our children were born in Chapel Hill, and if it would be like on 30 Rock {even though 30 Rock isn't funny anymore} when Jack's daughter was born in Canada.

Once at UNC, I was hooked up to more monitors, given more magnesium sulfate, checked out by more doctors. We got a few hours of sleep, until about 7:00, when doctors started wanting to talk to me about C-sections and epidurals {just in case}. When it was determined that I was still only dilated one centimeter, and my contractions were slowing down, I was moved to a different room. My fifth hospital room in 24 hours.

My contractions continued to slow down throughout the day, especially after the nurses told me that I needed to keep myself hydrated, and also go to the bathroom often {full bladders bring on contractions}. I was hopeful that I could go home soon on modified bed rest, and remain pregnant for at least a few more weeks.

We spent the night on Tuesday, and then had an ultrasound scheduled for Wednesday morning. The ultrasound was, first, to determine how far along the babies were developmentally {just in case}, and second, to see if my uterus would allow me to go home. It turned out that the babies were healthy, if still very tiny -- just 2 pounds and 5 ounces each -- but my cervix had shortened, from 23 millimeters on Monday to 13 millimeters on Wednesday morning. All signs pointed to a prolonged hospital stay for me.

A little while later, after I was back in my room, a doctor came in and said that since this was my first pregnancy, they weren't sure how relevant it was that my cervix was shortened. If I had a history of pre-term labor, or if I had delivered other babies early, then they might be more concerned. As it was, I could go home on modified bed rest. And I did come home. And I'm so happy to be home.

I'm grateful that these babies are still inside me, because I don't think any of us are ready for them to be born yet. I'm grateful for Christian's company and support; I'm grateful that he has the priesthood and was able to give me a blessing. I'm grateful for the Spirit in my life, and for the continued comfort, peace and reassurance that I've been able to feel over the past several days. I'm grateful for everyone who has showed their love and concern for us. I'm grateful that I can be at home.

Happy {Early} Valentine's Day!

2011-02-13T08:13:00.001-05:00

A couple days ago Christian asked me if I wouldn't mind getting my Valentine's Day present on Saturday instead of Monday. Always excited at the idea of getting presents, and even more eager at the prospect of getting presents early, I quickly agreed. He came home with a bouquet of roses, and I was happy. I love flowers.

However, as we were driving home from Wade's handball game, Christian started digging in his back pocket, and handed me an envelope. Inside was a coupon book made out of notebook paper and duct tape, which I thought was adorable. I started flipping through {after Christian corrected me as to which side was the front}, and was charmed by the coupons for one kiss, one hug, one high-five, and one back scratch. The next sent me reeling. "One laptop computer." Say whaaaaaat?

He outdid himself again. He spoils me, and I love him for it. I love him for a lot of things, and this isn't the most important, but it did make today very fun. Thanks, Ace -- you're my favorite.

P.S. When picking out a laptop, my requirements were "a good one that comes in yellow," which didn't make the selection process very easy at all. In fact, the Best Buy employee we talked to seemed like he had no idea what I was talking about. How hard is it to understand "I want one that's pretty"?

P.P.S. Just now I turned to Christian and said, "Isn't this fun? Both of us on our laptops? If we ever chatted online, we could talk to each other through the computer." And since we're re-watching Oceans Thirteen, he said, "It would be quieter."

A Massive Post About Clothes

2011-02-12T08:52:00.000-05:00

One of the things I've been looking forward to about {finally!} having these babies in April is getting to kiss their roly-poly feet. The other thing is losing baby weight and being able to fit into normal clothes again. I'm only slightly kidding -- I really do daydream about my ideal spring wardrobe, and how I could be such an awesome, cute yet practical yet really really cute mom in new clothes. Indulge me in my fantasy world for a few minutes, and let me share what I've been thinking. I'm loving reds, blues and yellows right now, and I've been trying to focus in on clothes that would really work for my new life with babies. Behold, my brainstorm:

1. Several {not nine, but maybe like three} button-down tops. I'm especially in love with the red & blue plaids. My reasoning is, they're easy to move around in, the buttons provide easy nursing access, and they're cotton, so it's no big deal if I get them dirty. I also think that they could be a quick go-to outfit for when I have five seconds to get dressed in the morning. Add a few accessories {belt, statement necklace, scarf}, and I'm halfway to an awesome outfit.
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2. Stylish and comfortable flats, so I won't look awkward pushing around my tandem stroller or running after kids at the park {I have the tendency to look awkward just while walking in heels}. I'd also love a pair of gladiator sandals, so that my feet don't get sweaty in the summer, but I couldn't find a picture of ones that I like.

3. A couple of cardigans to add some color and pattern. I don't know how long I've been drooling over the idea of a red cardigan -- maybe since last Valentine's Day? It's probably about time I got my hands on one.

4. A few pairs of skinny cropped pants. I can't imagine taking care of two babies in skirts, and it's hard to find shorts that are both cute and modest. I love the idea of cropped pants because I can quickly roll up the cuffs as the weather gets warmer, and they definitely fit the magic bill of fashionable + easy.

5. A pencil skirt in a bright color. {Ooh, and I would totally pair it with this blouse.} This is just because I am head-over-heels in love with the teal pencil skirt that I have now; I wore it to church constantly before I got pregnant.

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6. A couple of floaty cotton dresses, just for fun. I can barely keep myself from purchasing the first two {the main thing holding me back is the fact that I don't know what the heck size I'll be after the babies come, and I don't want to splurge on an adorable dress just to have it not fit me}. Obviously these would be impossible to nurse in, so they're less practical and more eye candy. A girl can dream, right?

Thank you {those of you who stuck around} for sticking around and sharing my dreams with me. Thinking about the future makes the present better, even though the present is already pretty darn awesome.

Important Thoughts 22.0

2011-02-10T13:48:00.076-05:00

{image via weheartit}
22.1: Mostly I don't hate eating the powder that accumulates at the bottom of a bag of cereal, and I actually kind of like the sawdust-y texture it lends to my last bowl of Cheerios, but the Frosted Mini-Wheats powder is a whole different story. For one thing, there always seems to be about half a cup of it, which is way too much. For another, it's basically straight-up sugar, and while I can feel healthy eating Frosted Mini-Wheats the normal way {because of the fiber}, I can't feel healthy when I've dumper half a cup of additional sugar in my bowl. I normally wouldn't find this topic very interesting, but I just finished off our box of Frosted Mini-Wheats this morning, and it's on my mind.

22.2: I need to do better about blogging. Most of you, if you follow my blog closely, have probably already noticed this. Know that I have also noticed, and have resolved to do better. On the other hand, most of you, if I follow your blog at all, could do with posting a little more often as well. Out of the forty blogs I have listed in my blogroll on ye olde sidebar, 28 belong to people I know; however, out of the ten that have been updated most recently, only one belongs to someone I have actually met in person. Mostly this leads me to the thought that we are not good bloggers, guys. But I think we can do better.

22.3: Being pregnant is different than I thought it would be, and I now understand why people have been asking me if I was "uncomfortable yet." At first I was like, "you mean is it irritating that I have to go to the bathroom all the time? Because that's not so much an issue for me." But I get it. I am now uncomfortable. I have a hard time sleeping, I have a hard time moving around, sometimes I have a hard time sitting and watching TV. My knees hurt, my back hurts, my hips hurt. I think all the discomfort has to do with the forty extra pounds I've gained in the last several months, but I could be wrong. All that being said, I love being pregnant. I love feeling the babies kick inside me {this has not yet become uncomfortable to experience}. I love buying tiny things for them to wear. I mostly love knowing that once Christian gets home, our little family is all together -- that is awesome.

Blog Design Coupon

2011-01-18T14:48:00.001-05:00

My blog design shop {recently renamed Chickadee Design Studio} is offering 20% off your next purchase, now through February 15th. I hope you'll all check it out!

Worth Another Watch

2011-01-10T16:02:00.002-05:00

While Christian and I found the most recent episode of SNL {s36 ep11, hosted by Jim Carrey} pretty useless, we laughed hard at this sketch. Enjoy:

Nursery Plan

2011-01-05T15:00:00.000-05:00

I get a lot of questions about how we {and when people say "we," I think we all know they mean me} are going to decorate our second bedroom turned nursery. In answer, here's the mood board I have going. My idea was to have light gray walls with stark white trim, and lots of bright pops of color to keep it fun. Keep reading for all the juicy details...

I initially thought that I wanted all the wood in the room to be white also, but then I started worrying that it would look too cold, so the current plan is that any new furniture we purchase will be stained dark. I love the look {and the high ratings from both Amazon and Consumer Reports} of the DaVinci Emily crib. We also obtained two white dressers from Christian's grandma after she passed away; they just need a little sanding and painting before they look new again.

I wanted the room to have texture, and I like the idea of adding it with pieces that are neutral. We have a white lamp {also from Christian's grandma} that has what I'm calling polka-bumps. I also ordered some tissue paper flower poms from Etsy in gray and white, and I have my eye on this wool shag rug.

For color, I ordered a couple of custom crib sheets from Etsy {made in the fabrics shown} to go with a white crib skirt and bumper. I'm also bringing up a throw pillow I originally bought for the living room to brighten up a new glider. I can't wait to get my hands on these art prints, which I intend to put in white frames. Finally, I adore the look of the colorful toys and books at Anthropologie {who doesn't?}, even if I'm too cheap to actually buy them.

What do you think? I know the picture I've created looks a little busy, but spread out in a real room I think it'll be perfect.

First Happy List of 2011

2011-01-04T12:07:00.002-05:00

{image source}

1. Eating grapefruit in slices like an orange. I love a big fat juicy chunk of grapefruit. Babies like it, too, although I don't think they care what shape the grapefruit is in when I eat it.
2. Feeling the babies kick as I'm falling asleep. I tell Christian that they're sending me messages, most of which are to "give Daddy kisses."
3. The big sunny open space in our living room, now that the Christmas tree is gone and our second couch is upstairs.
4. How every time I tell my hilarious sister-in-law Catherine about a sale going on at Loft, she says, "Ummm... I totally went there today."
5. Random references to Harry Potter -- they make me laugh.
6. Planning things I want to get done before the babies come, like read the whole Book of Mormon with Christian again, and plant hydrangeas in front of our house.
7. Wearing fun accessories and bright red lipstick, which make me feel pretty instead of just huge.
8. Deciding not to compare myself to other people anymore.
9. My heart skipping a beat {still} when I hear Christian opening the door as he comes home from work. It's the best part of my day.
10. Realizing that after about three years, I finally understand most of Christian's family's inside jokes.

What's making you happy today?

Books I Read 2010, Part V

2011-01-01T18:12:00.000-05:00

I did not attempt the 50-50 club. That would be crazy. I just continued to read while I completed the movie portion of the goal. These are the remaining six books that I read for the year 2010.

Catch 22 by Joseph Heller – Books don’t come much better than this. Absurd and hilarious and then thoughtful and sad, I cannot stress how great this book is. This is the fourth time I’ve read it and it only gets better. This is in my top five favorite books (and could possibly be number one).

The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger – Mary just loved this book, so I gave it a whirl. This, of course, is like the twentieth book I’ve read that she recommended, while I think she has yet to touch the sixth on my recommendations list. Any book that tackles time travel may seem a bit old hat, but I think this approach is novel. Fair warning: skip the movie, it’s pretty terrible.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott– I finished TTW one night and had nothing lined up, so I grabbed something from the shelf. Turns out this book is about how to be a writer, or something like that. As you can tell, writing is not my gift in life, and also the book was not nearly as funny as the people’s quotes on the cover said. If you want to be a writer, maybe give this one a shot.

The Fortress of Solitude by Jonathan Lethem – I don’t really remember how I came about reading this book. And through the first half of the book, I was not really enjoying it. And then the writer shifted from third person to first person and it really picked up. I ended up really enjoying the book, which is something that I would never have guessed half way through.

2666 by Roberto Bolaño– I am not really sure why I decided to try out this fairly intense undertaking. The book is divided up into five parts which really don’t have to have to do with each other except that some portion revolves around serial murders in Santa Teresa, Mexico. You probably will not read another book like this one. If you do decide to take this one on, you will be rewarded.

Chronic City by Jonathan Lethem– I ended the year with another book by Lethem. This book had a lot more dialogue and several more interesting characters. Perhaps Lethem did this on purpose, and it seems like he did, but the writing and the dialogue definitely makes you think Lethem was on the ol’ “Chronic City” himself. Whether or not that was the case, the book is pretty interesting.

I am out of books and I am out of movies. The final tally rests at 46 books and 41 movies. When the dust settles a few years from now, and all the hype finally calms, the poets will write of this year. The scholars will discuss this year among the greatest of all times. But you all, you all were there. You’re welcome.

Some Christmas Eve Pictures

2010-12-28T19:43:00.000-05:00

{Mark, Michael & Kristin}

{Eric with nose fry & Christian, who doesn't enjoy having his picture taken}

{Christian trying to look thinner}

{Mom & Dad Plautz}

{Christian & me with glasses and baby bump}

Christian and I spent Christmas Eve in traditional Plautz fashion and with excellent Plautz company. We hit up McDonald's for dinner, then headed back to the in-laws' house to read the Biblical account of Christmas and sing Christmas songs. We finished by eating delicious homemade candy. {On a side note, my doctor told me yesterday that I'm gaining too much weight. I think I should get a break just after the holidays.} I didn't get any pictures from Christmas Day, so these will have to suffice.

I've loved having Christian home for the past few days. It's so nice to just look over and see him nearby. Today we set out to visit a couple of libraries and pick up some graphic novels for Christian. When we arrived at the Eva H. Perry Wake County Public Library, Christian and I encountered what must have been the slowest family of all time. First, they waited for someone to pull out of a parking spot they wanted, when there were plenty available. They then backed in, which required the driver to execute a five-point turn. Once they were no longer in our way, Christian and I parked, got out of the car, and walked inside. We found the books Christian was looking for, browsed around, and checked out. When we came out the car, our slow friends had just gotten out of their car. As we drove away, they were still walking toward the door. Seriously?

After the libraries, we strolled around Barnes & Noble, then Christian surprised me by suggesting Macaroni Grill for a late lunch. It was wonderful. I enjoy restaurants with paper tablecloths. We played hangman until our orders arrived; my puzzles were "hoverboard" and "delusions of grandeur," while Christian's were "hangman is lame" and "these are the letters of the alphabet: abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." When I complained that his second didn't count, because it contained non-words, he said that at least I didn't guess a single wrong letter {although actually I did; I guessed a letter twice}.

Movies We Saw 2010, Part IV

2010-12-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

The truth is, by the time we hit thirty movies, I had already read forty books. This is why, when I first explained the elite nature of the 40-40 club to Mary, she immediately understood the impact and added, “When are we going to have the opportunity to see forty movies in the theater in one year again?” We have two reasons that the answer is never. The most difficult part of the 40-40 club was going to be seeing ten more movies that wouldn’t be awful. Awful or not, the goal was in sight, and we would not be denied.

The Other Guys – Do not see this movie, you will be disappointed. I didn’t think that the combination of Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg would let me down so much. However, I think one of the funniest parts was when Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock jumped off a building. I mean, what was that? I appreciate that kind of absurd humor.

It’s Kind of a Funny Story – This movie is one that you probably didn’t hear about. And when I tell you that Zach Galifianakis plays a serious role in it, you will probably scoff. I would compare this style of movie to (500) Days of Summer, and we liked both very much. These movies are a little more meta than other movies, but they don’t over do it. And Galifianakis does a great job in his role.

Waiting for Superman – We saw this movie at The Galaxy, which always makes me feel out of place. Like I’m trying to fit in with these hipsters who don’t accept credit cards. Anyway, this is a documentary about the public education system in the United States. The information is very revealing and also somewhat disheartening. I mean, who the heck came up with tenure for public school teachers? What were they thinking? All in all, this was a very good documentary.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps – Michael Douglas reprises his Oscar-winning role of Gordon Gekko after 23 years. He’s more of a supporting character as this film focuses on the kid who is not Indiana Jones. This movie is much longer than the story can hold interest. Smart financial advice says don’t waste your money on this movie.

Megamind – Dreamworks, whom I frequently slam, is not completely inept. Will Ferrell’s title character is really funny. The film’s plot is not what I was expecting but I enjoyed it all the same. I want to write more about this movie, but nothing comes to mind. So ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty…

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1 – I guess this movie wins longest title award. The movie does a great job of capturing the part in the book where NOTHING HAPPENS for forever. And what was up with that image of Harry and Hermione kissing? I did end up enjoying the film, and look forward to part two.

Inside Job – Perhaps Mary and I should avoid documentaries because we leave them furious about some aspect of the world. Inside Job does a fantastic job of detailing what went wrong with the housing market crash and the downturn in the economy. I think it did too good a job because now I am really mad at these investment companies. They are pure, unadulterated evil.

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Trader – I spoke too soon about the movie title length award. That being said, this movie also feels sooooo long. It is boring, and stupid, and I hate Eustace, and Lucy, and Edmund. I wonder how the failure of this movie will impact the future development of the other books.

Hereafter – Can’t miss, right? Matt Damon as the star, Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela (the part he was born to play), Clint Eastwood the director…and rugby. Wait, I’m confusing myself. Matt Damon is the star and Clint Eastwood is the director. No Freeman or rugby. After an intense opening sequence containing a tidal wave, the movie grinds to a halt. And then it stays there for the rest of the film. Not that I wasn’t entertained, it just doesn’t go anywhere.

True Grit – I love westerns, and I love the Coen brothers. Perhaps that is why this movie didn’t quite live up to my probably too high expectations. The movie is still good, and Hailee Steinfeld is fantastic as Mattie Ross. I just wanted more and the film didn’t quite deliver. The movie, however, was not a bad way to finish up the year.

So it is, the 40-40 club and immortality. A lot of the credit can go to Mary, who endured numerous horrible movies. That’s why I rewarded her with twins. Next year’s goal: see one movie in the theater.

Wishing You a Very Merry Christmas

2010-12-25T09:39:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas!

Christian and I had a hard time staying asleep last night,

partly because we were just too excited for today,

and partly because I kept having to get up during the night.
Ah, pregnancy.

I was thinking, in the wee hours of the night,

that this was potentially our last Christmas for years when we could have slept in.

But that got me thinking about sharing next Christmas with our babies,

which is just too exciting a thought to allow for sleep.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I hope you get everything you ever wanted.

{I did.}

Books I Read 2010, Part IV

2010-12-24T22:52:00.000-05:00

A 30-30 club exists in baseball, where the members are players who both hit thirty homeruns and stole thirty bases in a single season. This is no simple task, much like reading thirty books and seeing thirty movies in the theater. The thing about Baseball’s 30-30 club is that is has thirty-four members (who have accomplished the task a combined fifty-four times). An even more elite club is the 40-40 club. Forty homeruns and forty stolen bases has only been done four times in baseball history. Only four. So why only settle for all-star levels when I can become a legend? When I reached my 30-30 goal, I said to Mary, “It’s time for immortality.” And so, here are the books that made this dream possible.

Choke by Chuck Palahniuk – The second of the three Palahniuk books I read was by far the most disturbing. A guy pretends to choke in restaurants so people can “save” him and then feel good about themselves while also taking pity on him and giving him money. And that’s the normal part. [Cold Shudder.]

The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz – This book received a lot of acclaim and deservedly so. The guy is a dork and your heart breaks for him and you want what’s best for him; his mother is a wacko and everybody is a wacko and also he talks about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. I’m sold.

Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk – No two Palahniuk books are the same except for that the premises are all so completely absurd. Tender Branson is one of the last survivors of a Creedish Cult who committed mass suicide. And boy is he messed up, just like the main characters of Choke, Fight Club, and I’m assuming all of his other books. This one, though, is actually quite entertaining.

Holes by Louis Sachar – A nice, normal, juvenile-adult read to follow up that last loony. This book was made into a movie that I never saw, but it has the kid whom we used to refer to as the guy from Even Steven, but who we now know as the kid from Transformers, and who we will hopefully never know as the next Indiana Jones. This book is really, really good. Good for all ages.

The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich – The Social Network was based off this novel, which is about Mark Zuckerberg, the “inventor” of Facebook, or as the thief of Facebook who ripped off a pair of statuesque twins and his best friend. This book is only okay, the movie is really good. Go see that instead.

The Death and Life of Superman by Roger Stern – In 1992, my world was shocked when Superman was killed at the hands of the creature Doomsday. I remember being in fourth grade, reading this and not comprehending. This story arch was followed by The World Without Superman, The Reign of the Supermen, and The Return of Superman story archs. I still love it to this day. This book is the novelization of that story line. It’s a good story. Good enough to be a novel and not just a comic.

Busting Vegas by Ben Mezrich – Ben Mezrich wrote two different books about two different groups of super smart kids who devised two separate strategies for winning at black jack, which is to say, putting the odds in their favor. The movie 21 was based off the other book. Read Bringing Down the House and avoid everything else.

Number the Stars by Lois Lowry – This book came out when I was seven. I remember it being popular when I was in the second and third grade. Naturally I decided to read Encyclopedia Brown and Sideways Stories from Wayside School then, and waited until I was 27 to read this one. I think that was good because I appreciated it a lot more now. Pretty heavy for a kid’s book, but still a classic.

Shutter Island by Dennis Lehane – I was in the mood for a pulpy mystery, which Dennis Lehane is perfectly capable of delivering. Though the previews for the movie that was based off this book were downright disturbing, I was intrigued enough to read it anyway. I enjoy Dennis Lehane for what he does, and he does it as good as anyone.

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen – Battling The Corrections and White Noise for best book of the year, this novel is just as brilliant as Franzen’s first. He has relationships and family interactions down cold. You read the book, and you think it’s good, and then you finish the book, a moment passes, and then you say, Oh man, that was incredible.

Movies We Saw 2010, Part III

2010-12-21T09:31:00.000-05:00

Here we are, the final ten movies we saw in order to achieve the 30/30 goal. We got into the meat of the summer movies. There were both high points (The Social Network) and very low points (The Last Airbender). Nevertheless, I had my eyes on the prize and I would not be denied, with or without The A-Team.

Shrek Forever After – Said Mary the other day, while seeing an ad for this film on DVD, “Remember when Shrek was original and funny?” I do. It’s really what sets Pixar apart from Dreamworks: the sequels. Not just making a movie for the sake of shelling out another summer film, but waiting for the right story to come along. Dreakworks just doesn’t seem to get that. And we get Shrek Forever After.

The A-Team – Love the A-Team show, hate the A-Team movie. Oh Liam Neeson, how did you go from Oskar Schindler to Hannibal Smith? And what is Rampage Jackson doing to B.A. Baracus? I mean seriously, why would he take a vow of non-violence? That’s the one thing he had going for him. So much of this movie did not make sense.

The Karate Kid – Part of the magic of the ending of the original Karate Kid was that anyone could mimic The Swan in their own living room (and on their own brother). While so much of the movie was pretty much the same (weak little kid, unconventional training techniques, female love interest a foot taller than the male, way too many people in attendance for a seemingly inconsequential karate tournament), the final move performed by Jaden Smith was an impossible-to-comprehend back flip kick. I did enjoy Smith and Jackie Chan in their roles, though.

The Last Airbender – This might be our lowest moment of movie-watching this year. This movie was beyond terrible. The acting, the dialog, the direction (which normally I wouldn’t notice, but couldn’t not notice how bad it was) – everything about this movie was a mess. Still, even though all of these aspects were technically worse than Robin Hood, I would rather watch this move instead. It was entertaining in an absurd sort of way.

Grown Ups – Sometimes you just want to see a movie where you don’t have to think too much. Adam Sandler is good for those. Throw in David Spade and I am sold. Despite the completely sophomoric trailers, I still found this movie to be plenty funny. It isn’t anything I would tell someone to make a point to see, but it’s not the worst comedy.

Easy A – We saw this film out in Utah with my buddy Needs. Though this film did not receive a lot of fanfare, it was probably the best comedy that nobody saw. Emma Stone was extremely sharp in her lead role and the supporting cast did a fantastic job with a fantastic script. Still, we might not have even seen it were it not that we’d seen everything else out at the time. (Plus, Needs totally has a crush on Emma Stone.)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World – As with The Losers, this film was based off a specific story from a comic book. The reason why this one worked, though, is that the film embraced the comic book nature of the story and played it up. For that reason, the comic-book-ness came across as very refreshing. The move did drag out by the end due to the repetitive nature of defeating seven evil exes, but overall I’d say the movie was very original.

Dinner for Schmucks – I did not really have high hopes for this film, but still came away disappointed. The movie was probably not helped by the fact that I was on call for work the weekend we went to see it and I got called like five times while the movie was going on. Even without the phone calls, I think I would have the same feelings towards this movie.

Salt – I knew this movie was not going to be big on story arc or character development and I was happy with what was left. Is it possible for someone to be a quadruple agent? Maybe. My other question is, did the president die? If he didn’t, there is no way they could pull off the sequel they obviously are trying to set up, much like the end of the Mario Brothers movie.

The Social Network – This movie may very well win the Academy Award for Best Picture. The reason why this film was not one that I told people they had to go see is because it's not a movie for everyone. If you read Mary’s blog, though, it probably is a movie for you. The script is brilliant, the acting is positively first rate, and the direction is completely on-point. You know what, forget it, see this movie. You will not be disappointed.

I Don't Think I've Ever Seen Anything More Adorable

2010-12-17T11:07:00.000-05:00

When I went to visit my mother on Wednesday, she gave me a package of diapers as a present. They're the tiniest diapers I've ever seen, and definitely the most adorable. I think it's good they're so charmingly small; I don't think my body is up to housing two nine-pound babies. I can't stop looking at them. I kind of want to tie ribbons to them and hang them on our Christmas tree:

My mom and I spent the rest of my visit snuggled on the couch, talking about everything that came to mind. We talked about how wonderful getting married in the temple is, and how long it takes my dad to answer questions, and spiritual thoughts I had after our most recent Sunday School lesson. We looked at my ultrasound pictures and exclaimed over how cute their little feet are. It was very cozy and peaceful, and I had a hard time leaving. Mom suggested I put my feet up and take a nap instead.

I really can't wait until we have a roomful of supplies waiting for our babies. It seems like forever away. I hope the time passes quickly.

Books I Read 2010, Part III

2010-12-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

The more books I read, and the more reviews I write, the more Mary begins to realize that she hates editing my work. Lucky for her these were the last books I needed before I achieved the 30 books half of the 30/30 goal. If she can just make it through these book reviews and the subsequent movie reviews, she will be home free.

A Fable by William Faulkner – Why did I ever think reading books that won the Pulitzer and National Book Award was a good idea? Here’s a good idea: memorize lines from Soap so I can live on Rowling’s island. I should have done that instead of reading this book.

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen – This was probably the best book I read this year. Is tragi-comedy a word? Microsoft doesn’t seem to think so. I’ll take care of that. Franzen is a master of the craft when it comes to story telling and emotional connection. He would cement my good opinion of his work later when I read Freedom.

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card – I read this for the second time, the last being in ninth grade. I thought now what I thought then, which was, “can I please find somewhere to play the game they played in the book?” How awesome would that be? Answer: stupid-awesome. Also, read this book, it’s good beyond the game.

The Big Short by Michael Lewis – Ever wonder what happened to the housing market and how it went down the tubes? Well, who cares? Some people saw this coming and made a fortune off of it. See, doesn’t that make you feel better? The point is, Michael Lewis is a good author; he tells a good story even when the subject would otherwise be a little dry.

White Noise by Don DeLillo – You will not like this book, don’t read it, you won’t get it. What’s that? That just makes you want to read this book all the more? Then my reverse psychology was a success. This book is fantastic. I have molded you.

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway – My quest to understand why Hemingway is such a revered writer continues. Simple enough to read, pleasant enough to continue, the one thing for sure is that he gets to the point. I don’t know what it is, but I know he has it.

Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes – The cover of this book says it won both the Hugo and Nebula awards. Well I come to find out that the novel won the Nebula award, and the short story from which the novel was expanded won the Hugo award. I find that to be very deceiving. [Editor’s Note: You didn't include anything about how you actually liked this book. Therefore, this review sucks.]

A Briefer History of Time by Stephen Hawking – This is an update of A Brief History of Time, with some new topics that weren’t really hanging around in 1988. This book blows your mind, without blowing your mind. (I just blew your mind.)

Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk – Having heard about Chuck for several years now, and knowing that the film made from this book is just fantastic, I decided to give him a three-book deal. This is the first that I read, and the movie is very faithful to the book. Until the end. Which is way different. I wonder why they did that.

World’s End by T.C. Boyle – So what if I read this because of Ted Mosby, and the link to his future wife? (By the way, I am so ready for the mother to show up and be done with it.) This book did not fail me like Kidnapped. I enjoyed it. It’s a good read, Professor Mosby would say. And I have renewed my faith in reading books mentioned in passing in TV shows and movies.

Little Pregnancy Update

2010-12-14T13:05:00.000-05:00

{links left to right: sweater, romper, pink dress, oxfords, baseball outfit, blue dress, overalls, green dress}

Christian and I went to another ultrasound yesterday, and because I'm now 19 weeks*, we were able to find out the genders of our little babies. I could barely sleep Sunday night for excitement. I had been waiting and waiting to know, and putting off shopping for anything until I knew. I even avoided looking a baby girl clothes all together, convinced as I was that we were having two boys. But now the news is in: one boy, one girl, and both perfectly healthy. We couldn't be more happy.

Christian is trying to convince me that I shouldn't buy any baby clothes until February, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to wait. Aren't these vintage clothes adorable? I love the thought of dressing our baby girl in ruffly cotton dresses, and our baby boy in tiny cardigans and bow ties. {I want him to look like Christian in this picture. Actually, I want him to look like little Christian in almost every way.}

*Every time we go to the doctor, we get a different due date. In fact, we get two different due dates, one for each baby, because they develop at a different rates. For consistency's {and my sanity's} sake, I picked the closest date and stuck with it -- this date puts me at 19 weeks.

Movies We Saw 2010, Part II

2010-12-14T09:42:00.000-05:00

The thing about seeing so many movies is that even though you catch some good ones, you end up seeing a lot of junk. On to the next ten movies.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time – You know what I always say about movies based on video games…Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A Start. Still, with 30 lives, don’t worry about wasting time on this film.

Clash of the Titans – If we didn’t live right next to the second-run movie theater, where tickets only cost $1.50, my dream of seeing 30 movies this year may never have come true. Then again, our proximity also opened up the door for us to see more than our share of truly terrible movies in an attempt to reach my goal. This wasn’t the first miserable film we saw at the second run (see my 2012 review), and it was surely not to be the last (much to Mary’s dismay).

Toy Story 3 – In 1995, the original Toy Story completely revolutionized computer animated films, and Pixar became the force they are today. Fifteen years and ten movies later, Pixar continues to be the surest bet at the cinema. Not only did Toy Story 3 not disappoint (which Mary totally thought it would), but it might be the best Pixar movie yet. With over one billion dollars in gross revenue, I don’t think I need to say any more.

The Losers – Basing a movie on a comic book is a tricky line to dance. This becomes even tougher when you base the film on a limited series, so that you are bound to a specific story line. Compound that with the fact that Jeffrey Dean Morgan stars in the film, and you have the poor man’s version of Watchmen (which says a lot about how poor the film is). Still, I was entertained, and kudos for the completely ridiculous way the titular losers stop the plane from taking off near the end.

Robin Hood – This may have been the worst movie we saw all year. The only saving point of the film was listening to the reactions of the guy sitting next to us in the theater, the highlight being when he seemed genuinely shocked and outraged when Robin Hood is declared an outlaw by the Sheriff of Nottingham. He just did not see that one coming.

Date Night – I had my reservations about this film. Despite the presence of Tina Fey and Steve Carrell, the previews did not interest me. We may not have seen this, were it not for the buck-fifty, but thank goodness we did. This was probably the funniest non-animated movie we saw all year. (Coincidence that Fey and Carrell were in the two animated comedies that rival this film? Not likely.) I don’t think the style of comedy is for everyone (see 30 Rock seasons 1-2 and The Office seasons 1-3), but it worked for us big time.

Knight & Day – We saw this movie on vacation in Atlantic Beach. The only reason I mention that is because it is all the good I can say about this movie: we were on vacation. Bonus points for the camp girls in uniform waiting outside the theater to get New Moon tickets. Also, they started singing.

How to Train Your Dragon – Dreamworks will never be Pixar, and I think they know that. We got Shrek, Shrek 2, Madagascar, and Kung Fu Panda, but the rest of the films (with the exception of two later entries) are entertaining, but forgettable. Anyone still watch Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron, or Flushed Away? This movie will join the list of enjoyed but forgotten Dreamworks films. (Or not, I just read that a sequel is being made…go figure.)

Despicable Me – This is one of the exceptions for Dreamworks, and the comedy with Steve Carrell that was completely on point. Robert, a co-worker of mine (who is now my manager, so not really a co-worker), astutely noted that the film could have overused the minions, but they totally did not. Nothing was overdone, and everything hit home just right. A very good family film.

Inception – The fourth and final movie of the year that was a must-see (the first three being Avatar, Sherlock Holmes, and Toy Story 3). When the final scene ended, I sat in the theater and told Mary, “Thank goodness for people like Christopher Nolan.” The man behind the two most recent Batman movies, The Prestige, and Memento brings movies to the screen that you have never seen before. This isn’t the same old, same old. This is new and fresh, and utterly magnificent. This is not a film that you watch and forget. This requires attention and thought from the viewer, which is often not the case in Hollywood, but if you do pay attention, you are richly rewarded.

Books I Read 2010, Part II

2010-12-10T09:27:00.000-05:00

Ten books in, and I am doing well. I was actually making really good time. I had thought that the books might be the tough part of the 30/30 goal, but at the rate I was reading, I would be finished with books long before I hit the movie goal. The book goal was given a boost when we started a new clinical product at work which required a great deal of baby-sitting during the centrifugation part of the production process. Since the centrifuge is one of my specialties, I spent a lot of time at work monitoring the system and having nothing else to do. I knocked out the next two books on two such occasions. So again, I was off to the races. On to the books.

World War Z by Max Brooks– This book is written in the form of a government report following a world war against zombies. The story is told not tongue-in-cheek, but very matter-of-factly. I liked that a lot. This book was much better than I thought it would be.

On Love by Alain de Botton – This was the only recommendation made for me at the end of my summaries last year, so of course I read it. Here’s the short of it: The way this bloke describes love is not at all how I think of it. As he recounts the rise and fall of a relationship he had, I continually thought, “What was he thinking?” and “Why did he do that?” I did not enjoy this book.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker– At the beginning of the year, I had it in my head to read any book that won both the Pulitzer and National Book Award. Maybe I thought I should be reading something more substantial than books about fictional zombie wars. So I read this, and I did feel more cultured for having done so. This book does a great job covering female black life during the 1930s. It is sometimes happy, and frequently sad, but always inspiring.

What the Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell – This book is a collection of 19 articles published in the New Yorker, and Gladwell has a unique way of looking at the world that I very much enjoy. Why are there so many types of mustard but only one ketchup? What’s going on with the so-called Dog Whisperer? What makes Gladwell such an enjoyable author is his ability to make any story interesting by providing context.

The Pearl by John Steinbeck – We have this book on the shelf and it’s like ten pages long, so I read it one night. The story is the timeless tale of money (in this case, a valuable pearl) not being the answer to all life’s problems and frequently causing more. Yeah, unless you use that money to buy an X-Box.

I Can See You Naked by Ron Hoff – I had a development goal at work to sharpen my public speaking skills. Not that I felt deficient, I just needed to write something down. My manager gave me this book, which is full of references to Walkmans and Arsenio Hall. The lessons are applicable even today. Still, unless you need to read this for a development goal, I would skip it and listen to Arsenio on your Walkman instead.

The Fixer by Bernard Malamud – Another Pulitzer/National Book Award winner, this story is based on the true story of a Jewish handyman wrongfully sent to prison in Tsarist Russia. The bulk of the novel details his living conditions on the inside. Since the story is true, it makes the thought of what this man went through even more heinous. But really, this book is fantastic.

Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman – Yes, I read fictional books about superheroes. I am a sucker. And only a sucker would read this. It’s a throw-away book about Dr. Impossible’s plot to become invincible, and the Champions’ quest to stop him in the wake of the disappearance of their leader, CoreFire. Did I seriously just write all that? Vomit.

On the Road by Jack Kerouac– Did I read this book as a sixteen-year-old after an episode of Quantum Leap? Yes. Does it make more sense to me now as a twenty-seven-year-old? Yes. Do I see what the big deal is about? No. Should TV bring back Quantum Leap? Yes. Should I get to play Dr. Sam Beckett? Oh boy.

The Tales of Beetle the Bard by J.K. Rowling – J.K. Rowling has this world in her head. I find that fascinating. Read this book or don’t, but know this, Rowling can still buy an island and hire you reenact her favorite episodes of Absolutely Fabulous or Soap.

Movies We Saw 2010, Part I

2010-12-07T12:48:00.000-05:00

Books are just one side to the 30/30 club. The real work was going to be done in the theater. Have you ever tried to see thirty movies in one year? You end up seeing a lot of junk, and that’s just from what you thought might look interesting. I can only imagine what was really terrible that we didn’t see. In any case, here begins the list of movies we saw in 2010, starting with the first ten.

Avatar – James Cameron was responsible for Titanic, which grossed $600.1 million in the US, making it the highest grossing film ever. Say what you will about higher ticket prices, IMAX theaters and whatever else, the reason why James Cameron’s Avatar raced right on past Titanic (on the way to $760.5 million) was because you had to see Avatar. Otherwise, you were missing out. Now Cameron has the top two highest grossing films of all time, and probably his own island somewhere to store all of his money, Scrooge McDuck style.

2012 – How many times can a movie build suspense from what's essentially the same sequence of a plane taking off while the earth crumbles beneath it? 2012 answers this question. Joel Mikkelsen related the film to a song, where the take-off sequence was the chorus. That metaphor was about the best thing to come out of this film.

The Princess and the Frog – Disney had more than a few swings and misses before going back to a formula that works: princess, “prince,” evil forces, songs, and comedic sidekicks. The movie was good, though a bit darker than traditional Disney fare, but did not perform magic at the box office. Despite earning $104 million, the budget was $105 million. One hundred five million? For a cartoon with nobodies for voices? That is weird.

Valentine’s Day – Would you believe it? We actually saw this movie the day before Valentine’s Day. Like we were time traveling. This movie follows an ensemble cast spread out over a dozen (or so it seemed) stories. The movie was not quite what the producers hoped it would be. But really, when Ashton Kutcher is in the leading role, what did they expect? Still, we enjoyed it for what it was.

Invictus – Can’t miss, right? With Matt Damon as the star, Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela (the part he was born to play), and Clint Eastwood the director… and rugby. I love Matt Damon (literally), but even his acting, though nominated for an Academy Award, could not overcome the fact that he was supposed to play someone like two feet taller than him. Also, this movie is slow.

The Blind Side – I read the book this movie was based on long before the movie came out, and I will say that the mom in the book is nothing like she was in the movie (portrayed by Sandra Bullock). Instead, it was the dad (played by an extremely timid Tim McGraw in the film) who was the mover and the shaker. I don’t know what prompted the change, but I'm not complaining. The movie was really good, and so was Sandra Bullock. I could have done with less of the little brother, though.

Sherlock Holmes – This was one of four movies I saw this year that were absolutely excellent. Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law were perfect in their roles. Even with the Queen’s English, the movie was unquestionably smart and funny. I very much look forward to future movies with these characters. Robert Downey Jr. is lousy with franchise movies, speaking of which…

Iron Man 2 – I actually enjoyed this film more than the first one, although I know I'm in the minority there. I mean, Iron Man was really good, I just liked this one more. Again, Robert Downey Jr. seems like the perfect Tony Stark. The guy is on fire right now.

Oceans – This movie was clearly a mistake. I don’t know if it is considered a documentary, but it was too boring to be considered an actual movie. Mary likes whales and other marine life and got caught up in the previews, but it was super-boring. You probably didn’t even hear about this movie. You are fortunate.

Alice in Wonderland – Tim Burton used to make movies that he didn’t care if anyone saw. Ed Wood, anyone? Sweeney Todd? Edward Scissorhands? And yet he totally seemed to sell out with this movie. I even fell asleep at one point. I highly doubt, however, that Burton cares whether or not he’s a sell out. He’s laughing all the way to the bank as this film has become the sixth highest grossing of all time.

Books I Read 2010, Part I

2010-12-03T09:06:00.000-05:00

At the beginning of the year, I* decided to build on my success of last year when I joined the 20/20 club. That would be at least 20 books read (27) and 20 movies seen in the theater (21). This year, I would be going for the 30/30 club. Some said it couldn’t be done. Others called my crazy. My wife was part of some and others. Yet, here we are, in all the glory. These reviews shall be split up over several posts. Enjoy…at your own RISK!!

Gathering Blue by Lois Lowry – This is the sequel to The Giver (which I read when Mary threatened to go without food until I finished). That book was okay, this one was less okay. A lot less. So the question is, why didn’t I stop here?

Messenger by Lois Lowry – Remember in The Giver and Gathering Blue, when a whole bunch of weird crap happened and it was sort of weird and then the story got really weird and you wondered why you read all three books in this trilogy? Well, I’m sorry, but I just gave away the entire plot of this book.

The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon – I hope that you have some book in your life that you have read and felt like it was written specifically for you. You would then know the sheer pleasure, enjoyment and emotional connection I have with K&C. Reading it the second time was even better than the first. Also, last year I named my fantasy football team after this book, and I totally made the playoffs.

Gentleman of the Road by Michael Chabon – When I like an author I read pretty much everything they have written. However, here’s a hint: read book summaries on Wikipedia first and see if the story sounds interesting. Don’t read books because you want to read everything by Michael Chabon. You will probably find them weird and boring.

The Bro Code by Barney Stinson – As a long time HIMYM fan, I have learned much from Barney “The Commodore” Stinson. Much of his knowledge can be found in this holy writ my sister gave me last Christmas. Sample articles include: "Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports," and "Unless he has children, a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a belt clip." Compelling and rich.

One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel García Márquez – This is the story of the Buendia family over a span of about 100 years. You may think this sounds boring (because it does), but the book is fantastic. Just read the first sentence and see if you aren’t hooked.

Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton – Michael Crichton’s posthumous novel is what we’ve come to expect over the last 30+ years. The book takes place in the Caribbean in 1665, when pirates ruled the seas. The story moves quickly, stays interesting, and ends just before you start to think it's dumb. MC has a knack for doing that – except in Next, which needed to end like ten pages into the book.

The Final Solution by Michael Chabon – This is a novella. It’s a detective story, but even though the book is so short, it seems to take forever to read. I say skip this one.

Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson– I read Kavalier & Clay because it was mentioned in an episode of The O.C. I read The Architecture of Happiness because of (500) Days of Summer. Would I have more luck with this book, mentioned in passing in Rushmore? HEEEECCCCKK no! This book is old (originally published in 1886) and painfully uninteresting.

The Mysteries of Pittsburgh by Michael Chabon – Michael Chabon’s breakthrough novel is okay, I guess. Perhaps if I’d read this one before Wonderboys, Yiddish Policeman’s Union, and Kavalier & Clay, I might have thought better of it. But that’s not what happened. I read it, finished it and said, “On to the next book.”

*Note from the normal author of this blog: By "I," Christian means himself, as opposed to when I write "I," and I mean myself. Basically, I'm just pointing out that this post is by Christian, and not by me, Mary, the normal author of this blog. Also, when I was first looking over this post, I noticed that Christian typed "my wide" instead of "my wife." I feel like maybe his subconscious was trying to tell me something through typos.

My Husband the Yeti

2010-12-01T13:38:00.000-05:00

Happy December!! Christian celebrated the beginning of this festal month by shaving and getting a haircut this morning. While those of you who don't see him every day may not view this as momentous, Christian has been participating in NoShavember, which means that he hasn't shaved for an entire month. Also, the hair on his head had gotten crazy long.

Christian annually participates in NoShavember, but this is the first year we managed to get a picture of him every day. Behold, his transformation from clean-shaven man to scraggly-bearded yeti:

I told Christian at the beginning of last month that this would be his last NoShavember, because being kissed by someone who effectively has a scrub brush on his face is not my favorite. I also told him that the babies wouldn't be pleased by excess facial hair. However, we'll see how things go when next year rolls around. I might find that I don't care as much.

A Slight Clarification

2010-11-26T13:25:00.000-05:00

After reading my post from yesterday, Christian looked at me and said, "Your belly is full of growing baby?" And that might sound like a strange thing for my husband to say, considering we've known I was pregnant since the end of August, so let me explain.

If you already understand the difference between count nouns and mass nouns, you can skip this paragraph. If you don't, pay attention, because this is important. Count nouns refer to things that can be divided into individual, countable units, like apples or cars. Mass nouns refer to things that can't be counted, because they aren't viewed as individual units; think of as milk or sand. So as a quick example, money, in its most common usage, is mass noun, while dollar is a count noun.

When I posted yesterday that my belly is "round and full of growing baby," I was using "baby" as a mass noun, referring to all of the developing matter inside of me. I wasn't talking about a single entity of baby, because there isn't just one in there.

There are two.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T20:32:00.003-05:00

In a move that's completely cliche, I'd like to share a few things that I'm thankful for today. I'm thankful that Christian's brother Eric came home safely from his mission in Georgia this afternoon. I'm thankful that our big huge whole family could be together for Thanksgiving today. I'm thankful for everything we have, and that we could share an excellent dinner this evening. I'm thankful for the gospel, for my life with Christian, and right now, I'm especially thankful for...

...my belly, which is round and full of growing baby.

Komen Race for the Cure

2010-10-04T14:21:00.000-04:00

{Kristin, Michael, Dad, Alex, Mom, Catherine, Daniel & Christian}

My favorite pictures from this weekend -- after the race, each survivor got a pink balloon for each year since her diagnosis. {See my mother-in-law with her balloon? I'm so proud of her.} We saw one tiny old lady ask for 54 balloons. Fifty-four!! And were afraid she would start floating away. At the end of the closing ceremonies, they all released the balloons into the air. It was a great experience; I'm grateful Catherine set everything up for us, and that we could do it as a family. We'll be back next year!

An I'm-Still-Alive Post

2010-09-29T21:20:00.000-04:00

{Salt Lake City Temple, flowers in Temple Square, view of the mountains from my grandparents' house, catching up with Amy & Ashton, Christian cuddling with Pumpkin}

I know it's been 19 days since I posted last. Six of those days can be explained away by our trip to Utah; for the other thirteen I have no excuse, except maybe that constantly designing other people's blogs sometimes gets me a little bored of the whole blogging enterprise.

Our trip to Utah was wonderful. We did more people-seeing than sight-seeing, and spent a lot of time talking and eating with friends and no time, for example, going to Lagoon or doing a session in the SLC Temple. We did walk around Temple Square, but we waited until Saturday to do it, which meant that the temple closed early and the Conference Center was {obviously} closed to prepare for the Relief Society Broadcast. We didn't even hit any of the classic Utah eateries that I was hoping to visit, including In-N-Out Burger, and Cafe Rio.

The people we saw definitely made up for it. I realized {not for the first time} that I am incredibly awkward around people who I feel don't know me very well. Thank goodness I married Christian, who is an absolute wizard in conversation -- he often saved me from looking like a socially inept idiot. {Also, he's way hilarious.}

As great as our trip was, I'm so glad to be back. We both are. Sleeping in our own bed has never felt so wonderful.

Kate + Mary

2010-09-10T14:59:00.001-04:00

Alice just sent me this picture she took when I went over the other day.

Thank goodness for nieces.

I love fat little squishable baby ones who let you hold them until they fall asleep,

and cute little girl ones who want to do everything with you,

jump on you when you're not paying attention to them,

and cuddle with blankies on your lap.

I love how the first kind turn into the second kind.

{But what comes next?}

Important Thoughts 21.0

2010-09-01T11:22:00.001-04:00

{photo via PaperTissue.}

21.1: Noticed how I haven't posted for over a week? I hope not. But if you have, understand that it's only because a) I get bored of blogging sometimes, and 2. I've been spending all of my computer time working on my blog design shop, which is now finally open for business. You should definitely check it out and then tell me how awesome it is, or at least like it on Facebook. I'm glad that the pressure and stress of meeting my self-set deadline to open today is over. Now I can look forward to the pressure and stress of not getting any business. {Yay!}

21.2: Our water heater busted a few days ago. At least, we noticed it a few days ago -- we're not really sure when exactly it started leaking water all over our box of homemade Christmas ornaments. When we made those ornaments I thought, "In thirty years we'll be telling our kids every Christmas about how we made these the first year we were married, just like my parents tell us every Christmas when we put up the ornaments they made the first year they were married." Only, my parents were smart enough not to store their precious keepsakes next to a leaky water heater. {Clearly, my parents are much smarter than we are. I am. I think it was my decision to put the Christmas ornaments next to the water heater.}

As I type this, I have both air conditioning workmen and plumbers at my house. The air conditioning workmen are supposed to be moving over the colossal air conditioning unit so that the plumbers have enough room to take out the busted water heater and put a new one in. As I type this, no one is doing any work at all. In fact, I'm the only person in the house. Go figure. I'll let you know how all of this turns out.

21.3: Christian and I received our LOST Complete Series on Blu-Ray yesterday. When we opened the box from Amazon, we were a little confused, as what we saw inside looked more like a board game than a container for six excellent seasons of television. Seriously -- see for yourself. We found the hidden bonus disc, we watched the special features, we were not especially impressed. But I am looking forward to watching the series again in amazing high definition.

Photos from Christian's Birthday

2010-08-23T10:59:00.001-04:00

I promised a while ago that I would share more about what we did on Christian's actual birthday. It seems a little late now, but here are a few pictures I snapped with Stephanie's camera. After bowling with Jeremy and Stephanie, we ate dinner at Red Lobster {falling in love with their cheesy biscuits} and saw Inception.

Diana Beach Pictures

2010-08-16T10:36:00.001-04:00

I brought my Diana with us when we visited the beach in July, but I've only just gotten around to getting the pictures developed. I realized after taking the ones of Christian and I together that I had forgotten to change the focus, which is why we're so blurry and that man behind us with the plastic cup in his hand is so clear. I'm still getting used to the whole advance roll, check shutter speed, check aperture setting, check focus procedure before I snap a picture. The ocean was too beautiful for me not to use up half my roll trying to capture it -- the one with Christian striding into the water was my last attempt, and my favorite. I'm looking forward to another beach trip {this time with several members of Christian's family} tomorrow!

Recent Blog Designs

2010-08-07T13:41:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to share a few of the blogs that I've designed recently, because I'm just too proud of them not to brag a little bit. I think they're both gorgeous, and because they're both photography blogs {which belong to excellent photographers!}, the pictures in each post only enhance the design.

Tiffany Haynes Photography
I love the combination of soft gray and bright turquoise that Tiffany asked for; it's definitely become one of my favorite color palettes. She also suggested the background pattern that we used, which feels very clean and contemporary. If it weren't for Tiffany, I also wouldn't know how to do a dropdown navigation menu, because I learned how to create them especially for this design! I think it looks adorable in lowercase Rockwell.

Sarah Rae Photography Blog
Sarah came to me looking for a blog design to match her new website. She gave me the colors she was using in the site, and I again picked out turquoise and gray. I think it's such a fresh, modern pairing. For Sarah I figured out how to make a slideshow header. It looks incredible -- click over to her blog to see! I love the subtle textured background, and it was Sarah's idea to have a shadow behind the post content so it really stands out.

I haven't been taking new blog design orders for the past few weeks because I'm working on overhauling my little business, trying to increase efficiency while also keeping my designs affordable. I'll let you know more when I'm all finished -- I'm excited!

Up Next: Kitchen Makeover

2010-08-05T07:57:00.001-04:00

After redoing my living room {not that's it's finished, or will ever be finished}, my thoughts have turned to making over my glum little kitchen. I got gorgeously bright red kitchen appliances for my wedding, but even they can't do much for grayish teal walls. Urgh. I love the idea of lemony yellow instead, with chevron stripes on the backsplash, and hooks hanging over the counter for mugs to rest on. I put together a fantasy mood board of what I'd ideally like to incorporate into my kitchen makeover:

{framed butterflies via BugUnderGlass, yellow chevron wallpaper as yet unfound/unmade, mugs and knob via Anthropologie, tea towels via FancyBoutique}

Living Room Makeover, Step 2

2010-08-04T07:16:00.001-04:00

Here is my new couch, in all its glorious glory. It took me more than a week to become emotionally ready to actually move it into the living room {and even after I did, Christian wasn't emotionally ready to let go of our old couch, which is why this one is in front of the window and not in the usual couch space}. And then right after we moved it in, I started having an anxiety attack because it had a nasty black lining on the bottom that was falling apart and shedding in big, hairy clumps all over the floor. I despise these nasty black linings on the bottoms of couches, so despite all of Christian's objections, I turned the couch over and tore the lining out. You can see the couch springs now, but only if your face is on level with the floor. I love how my new couch looks. I will love how it looks even more when I've saved up enough money to get it reupholstered -- the fabric on it now is okay, but also a little dingy.

I also have new throw pillows. I made some of them -- even more than are pictured here. To make them, I followed three easy steps: I bought the fabric, I asked Alice for her help, and then I played with her kids while she made them all by herself. I then bought the two big ones from TurquoiseTumbleweed. I had the one with Christian's and my silhouettes made by LaceyInThe Sky. I really love how it turned out. She got Christian's profile perfect. I don't think my profile is as distinctive as Christian's, but she certainly got the right angle for my upturned nose. {I think my nose looks weird from the side.}

Another Rainy Day Picture

2010-08-03T19:54:00.001-04:00

Alice sent over this picture that she took of our beach trip on Thursday. I love that it has some of everyone in it: Kate, Mom, Elaine {isn't she adorable?}, Lara, Laura and I are all smiling for the camera, you can see Hayden and Sara Joy swimming in the oceanic distance, and Alice, of course, is taking the picture. It's perfect.

Rainy Day at the Beach

2010-08-01T16:52:00.001-04:00

My mom and sisters packed up all their kids and headed to the beach for a day trip on Thursday. We were worried when we got to Fort Fischer and the lifegaurds had just told everyone that they were closing down for at least an hour because of a storm that was passing through {okay, maybe just I was worried, and maybe a little bit frustrated}, but we drove down the coastline until we found a Public Beach Access where lifeguards wouldn't be a problem. Aren't lifegaurds a serious hassle sometimes? Our spot on the beach was perfect -- it had a tide pool where the girls could play out of the waves. The weather was cloudy and a little rainy at times, but also cool and breezy and wonderful. We all had so much fun, except Elaine, who slept the whole time we were on the beach. The only thing more I could have asked for was not so many creepy guys walking around slowly. And a bathroom would have been nice.

Important Thoughts 20.0

2010-07-24T13:29:00.000-04:00

{photo via PaperTissue.}

20.1: I made a bold move on Wednesday and bought a new couch. After browsing for couches a few weeks ago, I came to the sad conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to afford a couch for several more months. However, on Tuesday I decided to look around on Craigslist for the first time, and the fifth couch I clicked on was my dream couch. {Not exactly my dream couch -- I wouldn't mind if the seat was deeper, or if the upholstery was radically different -- but it's close enough.} I could afford it, so I e-mailed the owner that night and picked it up the next day. It's now sitting in our dining room, waiting for the explosion of throw pillows that I think will make it look perfect. I'll post pictures when it looks just right.

20.2: I downloaded Photoshop a few days ago, and have since spent several hours editing photos. Specifically, our wedding photos, which is why I randomly posted some yesterday. I've been jealous of people with gorgeous wedding photos since I got married, and I love how mine look now. Belated wedding photo win!

20.3: Christian and I bought tickets for our trip to Utah! We'll be leaving on September 21st, and coming home on the 27th. We have so many people to see again {and some to meet for the first time} -- I can't wait! I'm so excited that it's finally happening after being in the planning stages for two years! For some reason, I love planning trips way in advance. Case in point: I told Christian that for our tenth anniversary, I want him to take me to Paris. One advantage of thinking so far ahead is that now he has more than seven years to get used to the idea, and obtain medication that will knock him out for the plane ride.

20.4: Happy Birthday to Alex, my youngest brother-in-law, who turned 14 yesterday! Always remember, Alex, that birthdays are good for you -- you can tell because the more birthdays you have, the longer you live. That's a fact.

Remember this day?

2010-07-23T17:28:00.000-04:00

It was awesome.

Take 3

2010-07-18T21:57:00.000-04:00

We went to my parents' house this evening for our monthly dinner and Christian's birthday celebration. We had sandwiches {Christian's favorite}, pasta salad and lemonade for dinner. My mom stuck a candle into a pack of Oreos for a birthday dessert. They were delicious. It was windy and cloudy and cool outside, so we all ended up on the porch. Happy Birthday to Christian again! I'll tell about what we did on his actual birthday another time... I'm waiting on photographic evidence.

Happy Christian's Birthday!!

2010-07-17T08:50:00.021-04:00

{celebrating with his family last night}

Today is the birthday of my most favorite person in the world.

I like to think that twenty seven years ago today, right before he was born,

my spirit kissed his spirit and said,

"I love you. I'll see you in twenty-four years."

{But really, I know that spirits can't kiss. That's one of the wonderful things about having a body.}

Yes oh yes oh yes, I am one lucky woman.

Happy 27th birthday to the best husband alive,

the awesomest person on the planet,

my spectacular husband,

Christian Michael Plautz.

Alex Freaking Wong & Other Important SYTYCD Thoughts

2010-07-16T15:07:00.000-04:00

1.1 I would say that Alex Wong is the second coming of some other talented dancer that graced the stages of SYTYCD in seasons past, but I think there's a possibility that he's the best dancer to ever come on the show. During the first week of competition, he turned out an amazing contemporary routine. Two weeks later, he performed a mind-blowing hip-hop routine with all-star Twitch and held his own. It was seriously impressive that a classically trained ballet dancer could be so versatile. It was heartbreaking that he had to leave the show due to an injured Achilles tendon. This season will be much worse without him.

1.2 Although I was never a fan of Ashley Galvan, I think it sucks that she also had to leave the show because of an injury {not only because it means that Jose Ruiz escapes elimination for another week}. I find it interesting that when Alex had to leave, he was promised a chance at competing again next year, while Ashley was only guaranteed a spot the 2010 tour. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that she's hoping the exposure she's gotten on SYTYCD will get her a Disney Channel sitcom {no joke}. Or maybe it's just another example of how Nigel can do whatever he wants, like when he granted Katee Shean $50,000 for being the top female dancer in Season 4.

1.3 I've also never been a fan of Robert Roldan, not because he seems arrogant {which is what Nigel said he discovered when he went online to see why Robert wasn't getting votes}, but because of his cloying personality, which strikes me as obnoxious. However, after his performances on Wednesday, I'm inclined to dislike him less than I did before. He did really well, and for that maybe I can see his personality less as obnoxious and more as... quirky. If that doesn't work, I can always just focus on his dancing.

1.4 Does anyone understand why the judges are insisting on continuing to praise Jose Ruiz when clearly he doesn't deserve to have gotten this far in the competition? He doesn't have enough talent in his own genre, or enough versatility in others to justify his enduring presence on the show. And this comes with another strange tendency of the judges {and Mia especially -- is the woman insane? Does she have some kind of secret vendetta?}, to criticize AdéChiké Torbert's performances no matter how well he does, or how much progress he shows.

1.5 I don't know if Kent and Lauren's alleged romance, which first showed its adorable little head at the end of their contemporary routine together, is real, a joke, or a pretense for publicity's sake, but I really don't care. I am loving it! It's cuter than baby kittens eating lollipops. And speaking of Lauren, what happened to all the other female dancers? {Not that I miss Melinda or Christina much at all.} I guess this proves that SYTYCD garners a predominantly male-attracted audience.

1.6 Is it just me, or did Comfort dance better last night than she ever did when she was a contestant on the show? In my opinion, she finally earned her place among the other all-stars.

Summertime

2010-07-12T10:48:00.000-04:00

{Hayden, Kate, Mom & Elaine}

Everyone came over to visit me and my neighborhood pool on Friday. And by everyone, I mean Alice, Hayden, Kate, Elaine, Mom and Sara Joy. According to our pool rules I'm only allowed to bring four guests, but Elaine and Mom never swim, so they don't really count. Also, it's difficult to take those rules seriously when every time we go, no one else is there. {Besides, who's going to enforce the rules? Our pool has zero security.} Owning a pool pass this summer means that my family is more willing to come and visit me; last summer I think I did all the visiting. This summer is also abominably hot, which makes just sitting by the pool unbearable -- one reason I never go by myself. {Maybe if I could manage to relax with a book in the water.} I got a headache from the heat on Friday and wasn't very much fun after a while.

Alice brought part of a German chocolate cake, which was delicious and became my breakfast. She also brought me some very good pasta salad. Mom brought me a cantaloupe. I brought my camera and took a few pictures. Mom refuses to smile in most pictures -- instead she makes a face that she thinks looks dignified and serene, and I think looks bored -- but I asked her to please smile for real this time, and the picture turned out very well. {And yes, Mom, you do really look like that.} Kate also took a few pictures, mostly of Elaine laying on a towel under the table. She took a few up-close out-of-focus shots of me, which made me rethink how good my hair looked that day. {I'm exercising my right as co-author of this blog and not posting those pictures.}

Are you enjoying the summer? Any ideas for having fun while keeping out of the heat? Don't forget that Christian turns 27 on Saturday!

How to Post Large Pictures on your Blog

2010-07-06T01:10:00.000-04:00

I often have people come up to me and say, "Mary, you're so talented! Can you please tell me how I can post large pictures on my blog? I think it would make my blog look so much better if I knew how to post large pictures." But really not -- that never happens -- people don't really flock to me, asking for my advice. {Sometimes I think it would be nice if they did, because then it would be super-flattering and also everyone's blogs would look better. Then I think that actually, it would be super-awkward for me to try to explain to them in person how to do it, and probably they would forget by the time they got home.} However, if you've ever wanted to post larger pictures on your blog, here's your chance to learn.

If you get confused along the way, I've included some screen shots that you can view by clicking on links in the text.

First, you need to know how wide your main posting column is. You can find out by logging in to Blogger and going to Design, then Edit HTML. Scroll down until you see this:

#main-wrapper {

  width: 635px;

  float: $startSide;

  word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */

  overflow: hidden;     /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */   }

This section of code is taken from my own template. My main posting column is 635 pixels wide, so I can post images up to that width {although most of the images I post are smaller, around 600 pixels wide}. Resize or crop your image to this width and save it.

For the second step, you'll need an account with Photobucket {don't worry, it's free}. After creating your account, upload your image, then grab the direct link. When viewing an album, hover over your image to find the direct link. When viewing an individual image, the direct link will be to the left, under "Share this image." Once you've copied the direct link to your clipboard, go back to Blogger and create a new post.

If you're using Blogger's updated post editor, make sure you're in Compose Mode, then click the Insert Image icon on the editor's toolbar. Select "Web Address (URL)" in the window that pops up, and insert the direct link from Photobucket. It might take a minute for your image to appear; once it does, click OK. The image will appear in the post editor; click on it, then select "Original size" on the blue toolbar that pops up. If the image is the exact width of your posting column, you might need to align it to the left in order for it to appear in the center of the column. {I know, I know -- Blogger is just weird that way.} To do so, click on the image in the post editor again, then select "Left."

If you're using Blogger's old post editor, I highly recommend switching to the updated editor, especially if you plan on posting a lot of images. It's much easier to work with. You can switch your editor by going to Settings, then Basic, scrolling all the way down to Global Settings, and selecting "Updated editor." Make sure to save your settings before doing anything else.

If you're committed to using Blogger's old post editor and you don't want to change {really?}, follow these {begrudgingly given} steps: Make sure you're in Compose Mode, then click the Insert Image icon on the editor's toolbar. A window will pop up; insert the direct link you got from Photobucket where it says "URL" under "Or add an image from the web." If your image is the exact width of your posting column align it to the left; otherwise, choose to align it in the center. Click "Upload Image." Your image will appear at the top of your post, so if you've already typed a lot of content, you'll need to drag it down to where you want it to appear {another strong argument, in my opinion, for switching to the updated editor}. If you haven't started typing, you might want to insert all of your images and arrange them first.

And that's it! If you're still confused or have other questions, write me a comment and I'll do my best to help you out!

UPDATE: If you want to post images that are the exact width of your posting column, and if your images currently appear with a border around them, you might need to do a little HTML tweaking as well -- don't worry, it's seriously easy! In this extra step, we're going to remove the border around images that appear on your blog; the border and padding together add an extra ten pixels to the width of your images. You can bypass this step if you want by resizing your pictures to a width ten pixels less than the width of your posting column.

Log in to Blogger, and go to Design, then Edit HTML. Scroll down until you see this section of code:

.post img, table.tr-caption-container {
padding: 4px;
border: 1px solid $bordercolor; }

Simply change the four and the one in this section to zeros; you don't need to do anything else. The code will now look like this:

.post img, table.tr-caption-container {
padding: 0px;
border: 0px solid $bordercolor; }

You can click the Preview button underneath the HTML editor to test if you did it correctly. If you didn't, you can always click the Clear Edits button and try again. If everything looks right, save your template, and you're all finished!

Christian Juggles Sand

2010-07-04T22:11:00.002-04:00

Christian and I spent our time at the beach reading, sunbathing, and playing in the water. I spent a fair amount of time taking pictures, and Christian enjoyed letting the waves tumble him around, which resulted in more than a few scratches on his back. We also liked sitting on the sand, with the waves just being able to reach our feet, which is when my husband discovered his talent for sand juggling. Take a look:

What do you think? Should he take his act on the road? {And should we maybe invest in a higher quality video recorder than the one on our camera?}

We're Home!

2010-07-04T18:42:00.000-04:00

Christian and I are home! I ate a meatloaf sandwich a little while ago, and lately my body has been thinking that right after food is a good time for sleep, so my brain is a little hazy right now. I'm struggling to stay awake, so here are a few disconnected thoughts about our trip/drive home/time since then:

1. While making the meatloaf sandwich, I clumsily dropped the knife I was using, and it bounced off the floor and into my toe. I didn't notice it had broken the skin until I also noticed the drops of blood on the kitchen floor. Gross! {I told Christian as I handed him his sandwich, "Don't worry, it doesn't have any blood on it." He didn't look very reassured.}

2. We drove home yesterday with Amelia in tow -- we took her to "Grammy's" house, which she was very excited about. "Grammy's going to be so happy to see me!" she kept saying. "Yes," we kept replying, "and Grandpa and Catherine, too!" We also accidentally poisoned her with McDonald's food, and shortly after our arrival in Fuquay, she began to throw up. I still feel bad about that.

3. We went to see fireworks in Fuquay last night with Christian's dad, Daniel, and Alex. I absolutely love watching fireworks, and last night was no exception. We sat by this one lady who was smoking, who was talking loudly on her cell phone, and who kept company with hordes of greasy, rebellious-looking, pierced teenagers who kept standing in the way. Blerg. On the upside, though, we also sat by a group of adorable kids who said "WOW!" in unison after every firework went off.

4. Christian made me pancakes for breakfast yesterday morning. He is so sweet, and a very good pancake maker. He certainly did a better job than I usually do, since none of his pancakes were runny in the middle. Christian is also better at taking pictures of us than I am. He took the one above, and I took this one:

We Are Loving It {with sidenotes}

2010-07-02T10:34:00.001-04:00

{photos via esoule}

We're having the best time on our little vacation. We went to the beach yesterday afternoon. I forwent sunscreen, which meant that I got an intense sunburn on my right arm. {So intense, I thought when I woke up this morning that my skin had already started peeling, but I afterwards realized that it was only dried aloe. Still gross.}

I'm glad I went to Harris Teeter and bought myself a new pair of cheapo sunglasses before we left. I only ever buy cheapo sunglasses, because I am continually breaking or misplacing them, and also because I'm indifferent to the superior style of expensives ones. {On a similar note, if anyone has seen my last pair, purple with black polka dots, please let me know. I was a little attached to them. My sister gave them to me for Christmas, and I like the way they made everything look purple.}

We also braved crowds of uniformed, vampire-crazy little camp girls to see Knight and Day, which turned out to be pretty weak. Still, I had a great time -- the best time I've had in a while. I got a little hysterical while eating my peanut butter cups before the movie started, and laughed at everything Christian said. It was wonderful. I love going to the movies with my best friend {which is maybe why we've gone to see seven in the past 35 days}.

More updates & eventually pictures to come!

Couch Shopping

2010-06-29T16:46:00.004-04:00

I've mentioned this before, but I'm saving up to buy a couch. The one we have now looks not good. Christian did propose to me on it, and we have spent a lot of time together there, but I don't feel that those factors make up for how visually unappealing it is. I was looking around at couches today {mostly because Christian asked me today, "Do you know which couch you're going to get?" And I said, "Uh... no." And he said, "Oh, I just thought you were saving up for something specific," and I decided that was a better idea}, and I learned a few things.

First, I learned that my taste in couches is way different from what I thought it was. I thought I wanted a couch from Ikea. I was wrong. I learned that I like traditional couches, ones with round paneled arms and tufted backs. {I also learned what round paneled arms and tufted backs are.} I learned that I like couches with legs because they don't look so heavy, and because then I can vacuum under them. I learned that if you want to effectively search the Internet for couches, you should probably call them "sofas." I learned that I shouldn't browse at expensive furniture stores, because then I fall in love with couches that are more expensive than my car, like these:

{from top: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7}

What have you learned today?

Christian Plautz Plays Softball

2010-06-29T09:30:00.001-04:00

I finally remembered to bring my camera to one of Christian's softball games. At least, I thought I remembered to bring my camera to one of Christian's softball games, and then I heard that the team Biogen was playing had to forfeit, which means that they didn't play a real game. They played a scrimmage. The only scrimmage that Biogen has had to play in the past 1.5 seasons, and it happens on the day that I bring my camera. Nevertheless, I took plenty of pictures of Christian playing softball in his scrimmage. I feel like it's important, because one day when I remember all of the incredibly hot hours I spent faithfully watching Christian play softball, I'm going to want to look at some pictures.

{top to bottom: Christian warming up, random pictures of Christian standing around, Christian pitching in the game, Christian getting ready for some action at third base, Christian at bat, Christian sitting on the bench}

I Just Gagged on News from the Front

2010-06-28T14:07:00.000-04:00

Christian's brother Eric is on a mission in Georgia right now. We get e-mails from him every Monday, and it's nice to hear how he's doing. Today, however, he shared this truly disgusting story with us:

"So this week we four elders in Milledgeville have zero dollars to buy any food with because we had to buy a new bike rack for our car and we had to pay out of our pocket and then get reimbursed, so we have to wait a couple days before we can buy any food. Yeah, we do have some food but nothing amazing, we are almost out of milk but we can survive with water. Speaking of milk and water, when I was in Moultrie, we were at an investigators house who wanted cereal but didn't have enough milk so he put water in it shook up the carton and put it on his cereal. I immediately thought about how Mom puts ice in her milk and how that is just as abominable as false preachers."

First of all, that is incredibly gross. I had to stop reading for a while to get my gagging under control. Second, putting ice in your milk is not at all as gross as putting inch-milk water on your cereal {I do it, too}. Third, Eric is funny.

Surprise!

2010-06-28T13:29:00.000-04:00

{photo via PaperTissue.}

Christian surprised me yesterday by telling me that he's taking four days off work, starting at the end of next week! I was {and am} so excited! He's taking off Thursday and Friday, and then next Monday and Tuesday. Christian's had a very busy work schedule lately; they've been doing a lot of system upgrades at Biogen, which means more to do for everyone {but especially, it seems to me, for the Automation Engineers}. We had planned to take all of our summer vacations this fall, including our trip to Utah, which is still scheduled for September. When he told me about the time he was taking off, I asked, "What about work?" To which he replied, "Work schmirk." That's good enough for me!

I've already planned the first thing we're going to do on our little vacation. I always love to go to the beach, so I thought it would be fun to stay there for a couple days and really soak it in. I knew Christian wouldn't love the idea, though, so I was thinking of ways to convince him when it hit me: Elizabeth lives in Beaufort! Staying with Elizabeth and Erik {and adorable Amelia and Charlotte} would be way more fun, and Christian loves spending time with family. Bing! Plan made. We're going to leave late Wednesday night {Christian is helping out with the Young Men's temple trip that night}, and stay until Saturday. I'm really so excited -- I love trips!

Discount Blog Design

2010-06-23T17:13:00.002-04:00

If you're looking for a pretty blog design, I'm offering this one as is for just $20:

Let me know if you're interested!

Happiness

2010-06-22T12:32:00.002-04:00

{photo via PaperTissue.}

Rah! Rah! I feel better today! {Granted, I haven't attempted to go outside, for fear that whatever had me in paralyzing fits of sneezes yesterday will attack me again today. However...} I am in love with today. It's gorgeous outside. I love waking up with the sun shining out my window -- it makes me excited to get up and do things. I don't have very much planned for today, just attempting to put my house in order and working on blog designs. Perhaps I'll throw in a trip to the gym to change things up a little. Before I get to work, though, I wanted to share a joke that Christian made while we were in the car yesterday morning, because thinking about it now still makes me laugh out loud.

First, a little background: Christian had made a joke about not being able to see a guy on a motorcycle, because he was wearing camouflage. It was along the lines of, "Oh, man. I can see a backpack, and I can see a motorcycle, but I don't see anyone riding it!" I, being half asleep and not in any kind of mood to indulge him, said jokes about camouflage were totally lame and not at all funny anymore. Christian said camo jokes were timeless, and to prove it, he said, "Camouflage jokes have been funny ever since the first time a caveman dressed up in a bush to go hunting, and another caveman said, 'See Grog spear, see Grog loincloth. No see Grog!'" The way he was trying not to laugh as he said it made it even more hilarious and adorable.

Things Aren't Going My Way

2010-06-21T16:22:00.000-04:00

I'm sick. That's how this long story starts. I'm sick with some kind of cold. I'm congested and sneezing like crazy. I told Christian today that I was "sneezing constantly," and he didn't believe me. "I don't think that's accurate," he said. "I don't think you're literally sneezing constantly." And then I explained. I sneeze, and then immediately I feel another sneeze coming on. You know that weird feeling of anticipation that you get in your nose right before you sneeze? That feeling, immediately, until I sneezed again. Lather, rinse, repeat, about ten times in a row. Then a two-minute break, then another row of sneezes. After hearing my explanation, Christian was forced to concede that yes indeed, I was sneezing constantly. {At which point I asked, "Why do I have to explain everything to you before you believe me??"}

However, if you follow me on Twitter, you know all of this already. You also know that I decided to help myself feel better by going to Cookout, my favorite place for my favorite onion rings. So we'll skip over my playing Nintendo 64 all morning {I'm sick, remember?} and get straight to when I'm sitting in the drive-thru line at Cookout. I ordered my usual -- hamburger with everything except ketchup, onion rings, fries, Coke -- and went to pay. I shifted my car into park and knew immediately that I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life. Why? Because my car has had a growing issue about shifting out of park. For the past month or two I've only been able to get it to shift out of park after moving my seat around a few times. Then I had to turn the wheel both ways. Lately it's been both, for about five minutes, before my car will condescend to slide into reverse.

Today, nothing worked. Nothing worked for about ten minutes {during which the Cookout employees were very kind and understanding}. So I decided to call Christian and then a tow truck, which is when I realized I had forgotten my cell phone at home. Blerg! Suddenly I felt miserable, alone, awkward, and unprepared. It brought back memories of when my mom would forget to pick me up from school, and I would sit outside and wait for hours, periodically going to the office and attempting to call home yet again, only to hear my answering machine... yet again. Those adolescent experiences have left me with abandonment issues, as well as a serious desire to always have a reliable means of transportation.

However, everything turned out alright. The manager at Cookout lent me his phone. I tried to call Christian, and, knowing he wouldn't recognize the number and pick up right away, used our super secret emergency signal which, unfortunately, he also didn't recognize. I would have tried calling someone else, but Christian's cell number is the only one I have memorized {apart from the home number of the house I grew up in, my high school crush's home number, and my cousin Heather's number from when she lived in Raleigh, which, needless to say, were all completely useless}. I then called a tow truck, and told the tow truck guy to take me to a good mechanic nearby. See how trusting I am? I get into tow trucks with guys I don't know and let them take me to strange places.

He took me to a car-fixing place {which is what I called it later when talking to Christian}, and when I told them my last name was Plautz, they asked me if I knew someone named Sally. Yes! I absolutely do! {You've been there before, Mom -- they had you in their system.} I immediately felt more at ease, and settled down to watch the end of Rocky IV and the beginning of Jaws III on the car-fixing place's surprisingly large TV while I waited to hear my car's diagnosis. I tossed my Cookout tray out, number a because I felt like an idiot carrying it around, and letter 2 because my shame at being in such a situation left me without an appetite. Eventually I was informed by Tony {a very helpful car-fixing guy} that there's a malfunction with some kind of security system on my car, and I should take it to a dealership immediately. He also showed me a fool-proof way of getting it to shift out of park. It goes like this: When you go to start up your car, turn the key far enough that the dash lights up, but not so far that the air conditioning or radio turn on. Leave it that way for ten minutes. Come back, turn it all the way on, push on the brake, let off the emergency brake, and then it should shift just fine. Awesome.

I'm safe at home again now, sneezing more than ever. And I've learned my lesson: only talk about ways my mother has emotionally scarred me when her computer monitor isn't working, because then she can't read my blog.

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T09:37:00.000-04:00

{December 1984: Doug, 26; Christian, 16 months}

{July 1988: Jim, 42; Mary, 2}

Happy Father's Day, everyone!

Things I love about these pictures:

my dad's mustache,

how you can see both of our dads' wedding rings,

baby Christian's little red mouth and long eyelashes,

the scriptures next to my dad's bed,

baby Christian's cardigan and bow tie,

how young Christian's dad looks,

and how you can tell they love us so much.

Thank you to our Dads,

for loving us and teaching us and taking care of us.

We love you.

Hair Makeover

2010-06-16T16:33:00.001-04:00

I cut some bangs for myself a few weeks ago. I probably should have grown out of the impulse to cut my own hair by this point in my life. Don't most kids try to cut their own hair when they're three? Or four? And I'm plus twenty years old. However, cutting my hair is one of the ways in which I express that I'm feeling something significant, and when I want to do it, I want to do it right then. I think it's lucky I had a pair of scissors in the bathroom the day this happened, or I might have tried to cut my hair with fingernail clippers. {Just kidding -- that would have taken forever.} Anyway, want to see?

I should have said, "want to see goofy pictures I took of myself because I'm too self-conscious to make a normal smiling face"? That would have been more accurate. As it is, I feel self-conscious enough that I make going make a bunch of excuses for why my hair looks the way it does in these pictures. I don't care so much about how my face looks, but for many of you, this is the first time you're getting to see the new cut, and I know you're going to judge me for cutting my own hair {again} if it looks awful.

Excuse #1: It looked better earlier today, but then I went to the pool, and it got a little bit wet and a little bit frizzy. Excuse #2: Because of the extra frizzy, I over-tried to calm down my bangs, which made them a little bit stringy. Excuse #3: When I first cut these bangs, they weren't this long. They have since {miracle!} grown out, and they cover my eyes too much, so I sweep them too the side, and I think they look a little bit weird this way. And, okay, I am going to try to excuse my face also. Excuse #4: Christian came home much earlier than expected and interrupted my photo session, so I didn't get as many good pictures {any good pictures?} as I had hoped.

And... drumroll... what does everyone think? People who have seen me in person, doesn't it look better in person? And doesn't it seem like those two Marys on the right are looking at each other? Is that weird?

Fruit

2010-06-15T11:41:00.000-04:00

I went out into my garden today and found a few tiny green tomatoes and a growing cucumber. I feel so proud of my little shaded garden, struggling to create vegetables for me. {On the downside, somehow I ended up planting pickling cucumbers. How did that happen??}

I have also been hard at work lately, designing blogs. Here are a few of my favorites. I work very slowly, which is overwhelming sometimes. I take breaks to watch the last few episodes of The Biggest Loser, which is entertaining, and read David Copperfield, which is even better. I also take breaks to let my body rest from this chair, which, despite its new cushion, is still not comfortable after a few hours.

And now it's time for me to get back to work.

Important Thoughts 19.0

2010-06-05T15:52:00.003-04:00

19.1: I got a makeover around the same time as my living room, in the form of some thick, eye-length bangs. I like them, even though they mean I have to fix my hair on a regular basis. I haven't taken any pictures yet, but if I manage to take some good ones next week, I'll be sure to post them.

19.2: I've been creating some Sporcle quizzes recently. You should check them out.

19.3: Christian has decided that he's not going to watch So You Think You Can Dance this season, which takes the number of shows he's watching over the summer down to one. Just one show for him, and I'm not sure if Wipeout is enough to satisfy him.

19.4: If you still feel that the LOST finale didn't answer all of your questions, maybe watching this hilarious video will help voice some of your frustration.

Living Room Makeover, Step 1

2010-06-04T09:54:00.004-04:00

As I previously mentioned, I spent a good deal of last week painting our living room. I am now going to talk about it in great detail, which I understand has a good chance of being very boring, but I just painted a whole room by myself, and I want to brag about it.

I picked out the paint on Wednesday. I knew I wanted a yellow-green color, a compromise between Christian's preferred green and my desire to have our whole downstairs in different shades of yellow. I looked at all the choices at Lowe's, and, true to my color-picking philosophy, picked out a color and went with it before I had time to over-think. I also cleaned the outside of Christian's desk, clearing it of years of dirty finger marks and pencil scribblings -- the difference is incredible; I only wish that I had taken a before and after shot.

I moved all of our furniture into the center of the room first thing on Thursday morning {except for the couch, which I put on its side and slid into the hall, where I ended up continually walking on it all day}, and took down pictures and curtains. Then I cleaned the baseboards, taped {because I know I'm not good enough to paint without tape}, ran out of tape, bought more tape, and finished taping. I painted two coats -- cutting in twice, and using the roller twice. I let it dry overnight; Christian and I went to his parents' house in the evening so as not to be bored out of our minds without the TV.

On Friday I took down all the tape, did some minor touch-ups {I learned from the dining room fiasco and kept extra paint around for that specific purpose}, majorly touched-up the baseboards, meaning I gave them an entirely new coat of paint, and installed new electrical sockets and light switches. Christian came home early {thank you, summer hours!} and helped me put the furniture back into place. He also helped me figure out all the cords to hook the computer and TV back up, which made a job I could have done by myself so much easier. We put the pictures back on the walls, re-installed the curtain rod, and I even {for the first time in two years} washed our sliding glass door.

Here's how it looks now:

If I could go back and do it again, I would probably pick a lighter, yellower shade, but I'm really very happy with it. You can see the seat cushion I got at World Market for our computer chair; my butt has not stopped thanking me since. And, I know this isn't everyone's taste, but I love how the green of the cushion clashes with the green of the wall. Love it!

I would also go back and not wash our curtains, which were in the house when we moved in. They were seriously grody before, but after putting them through the several dryer cycles necessary to get them entirely dry, they are now a good six inches shorter than before. And they look ridiculous. And we didn't realize they had shrunk until Christian and I had each spent 20 minutes ironing them. Blerg.

This is only step 1 of our living room makeover because of two things. Well, actually now because of three things. 1: The wall around the TV looks very blank; I need to figure out what to put on that wall. 2: A new couch would really help our room look awesome. I am working on acquiring one, but it still might take a while. If you would like to take pity on me and speed up this process, you could always hire me to design your blog. All proceeds go to my new couch fund. 3: I don't know what to do about our curtains.

My First Harvest

2010-06-03T14:31:00.003-04:00

I was having a grumpy day today until I went outside to tend my garden. My little garden doesn't need very much tending, due to the fact that it comprises eight small pots of soil, several sun-starved plants, and nothing else. {I think my plants are missing the sun as much as I am -- today feels like the twentieth cloudy/rainy/stormy/muggy day in a row. Seriously, weather? You are now officially overstaying your welcome.} Mostly I just go out after the work crews have been by with their leaf blowers and pick mulchy dirt off of my tomato cages.

Today, however, in amidst the dead leaves and pieces of bark were eight ripe green beans. Christian's favorite dish. My plants have defied the odds and managed to produce produce! I am so proud. The sun even managed to peek out from its atmospheric prison for a few minutes while I was taking a picture. It was glorious.

P.S. Does this picture make my hands look mannish? I feel hand-self-conscious.

"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"

2010-05-28T19:42:00.003-04:00

I've been busy for the past couple of days painting my living room, which is why I'm posting this video tonight and not yesterday morning. I've been feeling that my blog has been somewhat neglected lately; I'm going to try to do a better job of posting {and including actual content}. For now, please be distracted by my adorable and talented relative:

I'm on Google

2010-05-25T11:15:00.003-04:00

Recent Google searches that have led people to my blog:

nienie "met christian
sporcle freezing computer
hulu 30 rock werewolf barmitzvah

Sadly, I don't think most of those people found what they were looking for.

The first combination of words appears on my blog only because I have a link to the NieNie Dialogues in my sidebar. {After doing the same Google search myself, I spent a cheerful half hour reading through her posts from December 2005. They are incredibly sweet, and made me laugh out loud more than once. NieNie, I don't know you, but I love you.}

The second appears on my blog because I posted about my love for Sporcle and our TV adventure in the same month. Last month, actually. {The first result of this Google search is a link to the Sporcle game Can you name the top web browsers (by market share)? I only got five out of ten on my first try, and felt very computer un-savvy.}

And I did have a video from Hulu showing a clip of Tracy Jordan's novelty party song, "Werewolf Barmitzvah," but it has since expired, and can no longer be viewed on my blog.

Oh, and there was one more search that brought someone to visit me:

mary's last chance blogspot

I think that person got lucky.

An Additional 10 Happy Things

2010-05-24T10:54:00.000-04:00

1. The bird singing outside my window.
2. My little garden, which has gotten plenty of rain recently.
3. Chocolate-covered pretzels and lemon San Pellegrino, a wonderful combination.
4. Chocolate-covered pretzels, period.
5. Clean laundry and fresh clothes to wear.
6. Baby pictures of Christian -- he was adorable.
7. Getting to spend time with family.
8. The LOST series finale.
9. Flowers from my Christian.
10. Wearing red lipstick.

More happiness...

This weekend has been full of gloomy days, and I thought it would be helpful to start this week off cheerfully {although the weather certainly isn't cooperating -- will we ever have consistently sunny days again?}.

Important Thoughts 18.0

2010-05-17T12:41:00.000-04:00

18.1: Check it: I'm now offering to create Blogger templates for anyone who's willing to pay me a very small fee. {Read more about it here.} I'm excited! On the downside, I now have to wait for people to come to me; I can't go around volunteering to design for free any more. That's a little bit of a bummer.

18.2: Christian took me out for dinner and a movie on Saturday. It was so incredibly sweet -- he even brought me flowers. We went to see Oceans, which I thought would be really interesting, but it turned out to be super boringsuck. Christian fell asleep for several minutes. I was hoping for more scientific fact and less random, unorganized, fourth-grade-level poetry. Dinner was excellent; we went to the Village Deli in Cameron Village, which is one of my favorite places because they give you a pickle with your sandwich. I love that. Thank you, Christian, for a wonderful evening.

18.3: I love the idea behind this engagement shoot. Up always makes me cry, too, and I think this couple is adorable.